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Infernal

Infernal

Wretch
Jul 28, 2022
25
I recently realized that if I had the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to figure out how to kill myself, and the executive function to pull it off, I would probably have the cognitive function/problem-solving skills and executive function to fix my life and I wouldn't feel the need to kill myself anymore, at least in theory. Not having these functions traps me in the limbo of a life I can't stand and no way out. I absolutely need to become functional so I can either get on with my life or fucking put an end to it already.
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
2,423
I feel that, broken brains are a bitch.
 
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M

MetroTransit

Member
Aug 11, 2022
43
Life is sometimes the cruelest joke.
 
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C

chloramine

Mage
Apr 18, 2022
504
It's such an unfair dichotomy. The things that keep us alive are often the things pushing us to die and it's the cruelest irony. I'm sorry you're so trapped.
 
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emptyjokes

emptyjokes

Nothing left to keep me out of paradise.
May 27, 2022
53
I recently realized that if I had the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to figure out how to kill myself, and the executive function to pull it off, I would probably have the cognitive function/problem-solving skills and executive function to fix my life and I wouldn't feel the need to kill myself anymore, at least in theory. Not having these functions traps me in the limbo of a life I can't stand and no way out. I absolutely need to become functional so I can either get on with my life or fucking put an end to it already.
I've been told that a big side effect of antidepressants is suicide, because the depressed person suddenly finds themselves with the agency to go through with their plans, but hasn't actually distanced themselves from wanting to do it yet. The way I understand it is that if they make it through that initial period, they usually end up staying alive.

It's really cruel that people can end up in a place where one or two good days at the right time can lead to a suicide.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,571
I think this is why peaceful methods should be easily accessible. Nobody should have to do complicated suicide research when they are already suffering enough. Suicide shouldn't be so unnecessarily difficult. It's such a cruel life and to me it's so horrible how people are trapped in these awful situations with no escape. In my opinion it's always better to never exist in the first place. I wish you relief.
 
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Fall.and.Shatter

Fall.and.Shatter

Member
Aug 11, 2022
26
I recently realized that if I had the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to figure out how to kill myself, and the executive function to pull it off, I would probably have the cognitive function/problem-solving skills and executive function to fix my life and I wouldn't feel the need to kill myself anymore, at least in theory. Not having these functions traps me in the limbo of a life I can't stand and no way out. I absolutely need to become functional so I can either get on with my life or fucking put an end to it already.
Maybe it's because life is hell, some people have the courage to die. The courage to live is harder than having the courage to die. In this case (or in some people's case) it's harder to have the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to fix their life is harder than having the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to kill themselves. Eh, but what would I fucking know about it.
 
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Infernal

Infernal

Wretch
Jul 28, 2022
25
I've been told that a big side effect of antidepressants is suicide, because the depressed person suddenly finds themselves with the agency to go through with their plans, but hasn't actually distanced themselves from wanting to do it yet. The way I understand it is that if they make it through that initial period, they usually end up staying alive.

It's really cruel that people can end up in a place where one or two good days at the right time can lead to a suicide.
That makes so much sense. There was an antidepressant I was on before that helped me hyperfocus on research, but I couldn't stay on it because of side effects. I'm hoping to try it again at some point now that suicide seems like the best option for me.
 
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W

Why Me?

Experienced
Apr 5, 2022
270
I recently realized that if I had the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to figure out how to kill myself, and the executive function to pull it off, I would probably have the cognitive function/problem-solving skills and executive function to fix my life and I wouldn't feel the need to kill myself anymore, at least in theory. Not having these functions traps me in the limbo of a life I can't stand and no way out. I absolutely need to become functional so I can either get on with my life or fucking put an end to it already.
I relate immensely to this.
 
Willy Wonka

Willy Wonka

Experienced
Dec 15, 2021
212
I recently realized that if I had the cognitive function/problem-solving skills to figure out how to kill myself, and the executive function to pull it off, I would probably have the cognitive function/problem-solving skills and executive function to fix my life and I wouldn't feel the need to kill myself anymore, at least in theory. Not having these functions traps me in the limbo of a life I can't stand and no way out. I absolutely need to become functional so I can either get on with my life or fucking put an end to it already.
damn. this is also my motivation to get better. I just didn't have the words for it
 
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