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mashirochoco

mashirochoco

New Member
Feb 20, 2026
2
Hello! 🙇‍♀️
I'm not new to SS, suicidal ideation, or anything related to depression/self harm for that matter. Recently, my quality of life has deteriorated more than it ever has in my entire life, so I'm considering CTB again. I have already looked at quite a few threads regarding natural poisons: yew, hemlock, apple/cherry seeds and such. Someone ate yew berries and just went to the hospital after experiencing very much discomfort I live in the rainy PNW, and I don't have access to any sort of over the counter medicines or methods that would require much money. I have social anxiety and don't interact with the outside world much besides dragging myself to school, or have much money to spend. I was wondering about the likelihood of death if I ingested both yew and water hemlock.

I would like to go to a park or any large natural area and collect anywhere from about 30-100 yew berries along with the seeds. The yew berries I will crush and perhaps create jam, or mix it into teas along with some other beverages. The same will go for the seeds. I want to CTB in a desirable, enjoyable method, eating sweets and having yummy beverages like I always do. As if the yew berries weren't enough, I plan to spend time searching local bogs, ponds, and other small bodies of water for water hemlock. Water hemlock is regarded as one of the most poisonous, if not the most, plant in the USA, and you don't have to ingest very much of it (.2~.8lbs) for it to be fatal. It also is described to have a sweet, mild taste similar to parsnips, celery, or wild carrots.

I'm thinking I can basically drink and eat a whole bunch of yew berries and seeds mixed with other fruits along with a little bit of water hemlock perhaps in a salad or something, take a lot of Tylenol, and die (somewhat) peacefully, as no methods of CTB can truly be pain-free. I know it seems like a long shot, and I sound stupid for posting something like this, but I want to know if it could truly be successful. If not, what are some other natural poisons that could be used? I am also aware I might have to wait until spring to harvest these, and i'm looking for something quick, soon.

Thank you 💝
 
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ipmanwc0

ipmanwc0

Doctor Sleep
Sep 15, 2023
647
Wouldn't say it's the most reliable method but if you take enough of them and the right part and make sure they're at the point in their growth where they produce the toxin don't see why it can't work
 
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eggsausagerice

eggsausagerice

last chance for cake!
Apr 21, 2025
1,213
yew doesn't work. please don't attempt with it or you'll go to the hospital. there's only been failed yew attempts on the forum from people that have attempted to make tea out of it. there have been deaths from yew, but it's not reliable and is generally unsafe. it isn't peaceful either.



 
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mashirochoco

mashirochoco

New Member
Feb 20, 2026
2
Thank you for your advice ^_^
 
absolute failure

absolute failure

Experienced
Jan 19, 2026
243
Consider the symptoms of yew poisoning. You're administering it through oral ingestion, so that means it doesn't instantly hit your bloodstream. You need to wait for hours as it works through your digestive system, during which the symptoms gradually ramp up, and your body goes on high alert to prematurely purge the poison. You'll be extremely delirious, shitting and pissing yourself, constantly vomiting, suffering from seizures, phasing in and out of consciousness, seeing shapes and lights-- and all of this for a very long time before the lethal symptoms even appear.
 
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pelicanportal

pelicanportal

life could have been beautiful
Jan 28, 2026
115
Wasn't hemlock the preferred method for suicide and death sentences in ancient Greek and Roman culture? Seems like it worked for them, what are we doing wrong that it suddenly isn't viable? It does seem by all accounts to be a nasty way to go though
 
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eggsausagerice

eggsausagerice

last chance for cake!
Apr 21, 2025
1,213
Wasn't hemlock the preferred method for suicide and death sentences in ancient Greek and Roman culture? Seems like it worked for them, what are we doing wrong that it suddenly isn't viable? It does seem by all accounts to be a nasty way to go though

comment in yew thread that applies to hemlock as well:
Varied amounts of poison, if you don't have enough dosage then you'll experience all the symptoms without succeeding, all pain no gain i guess.
people generally don't know how much henlock they should use. we're random people and don't know how it worked. hemlock was used as an execution method and a way to euthanize old people. it was a state sanctioned method of killing people, so someone that knew how to brew hemlock was providing the drink.
 
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B

bigsadbean

Member
Nov 18, 2022
6
comment in yew thread that applies to hemlock as well:

people generally don't know how much henlock they should use. we're random people and don't know how it worked. hemlock was used as an execution method and a way to euthanize old people. it was a state sanctioned method of killing people, so someone that knew how to brew hemlock was providing the drink.
Is there really no way for any of us to find out? I guess you can't type this stuff into a search engine easily. But hemlock is a lot more accessible than N or SN these days, if there's a reliable way to use it, it could be really helpful.
 

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