Wow that was intense

[escapefromabuse]

I pulled myself back from the brink. There was a solid 5 minutes where if I'd had a gun I don't know if I would've stopped. That was seriously intense and I'm shaking a little. I don't even know how to describe it. Holy shit.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Are you ok right now?

 

[Kringle's Curse]

I pulled myself back from the brink. There was a solid 5 minutes where if I'd had a gun I don't know if I would've stopped. That was seriously intense and I'm shaking a little. I don't even know how to describe it. Holy shit.

Been there myself a few times, and I have guns.

 

[escapefromabuse]

Are you ok right now?

Yeah I'm shakey but I'm okay. That was the most intense feeling I've ever had. Wow

 

[GinaIsReady]

What caused it?

 

[escapefromabuse]

What caused it?

It was helped along chemically . I got in touch with some really deep, intense emotions.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Are you OK now? Be gentle with yourself, sounds like quite an ordeal x
❤

 

[escapefromabuse]

Are you OK now? Be gentle with yourself, sounds like quite an ordeal x
❤

Yes I'm okay. I might try to sleep. Yeah that was a scary ride down a knife's edge.

 

[Amossoma543]

I pulled myself back from the brink. There was a solid 5 minutes where if I'd had a gun I don't know if I would've stopped. That was seriously intense and I'm shaking a little. I don't even know how to describe it. Holy shit.

This happened to me just recently. It wasn't a panic attack, but it was very similar. It was at least 5-10 minutes where the reality hit that I have to end it...and I thought it was right then. I felt my eyes bulging from their sockets. Everything stood out in perfect clarity. I did not know what to do...and I felt like I couldn't get away from myself. You're right...it's very intense, and it's even harder to describe. I got in my car right after and drove around for almost an hour, just driving randomly around town.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Wow!
I've been there too. I had to sit there and talk myself down and be like no on my terms and today is not the day.

 

[escapefromabuse]

This happened to me just recently. It wasn't a panic attack, but it was very similar. It was at least 5-10 minutes where the reality hit that I have to end it...and I thought it was right then. I felt my eyes bulging from their sockets. Everything stood out in perfect clarity. I did not know what to do...and I felt like I couldn't get away from myself. You're right...it's very intense, and it's even harder to describe. I got in my car right after and drove around for almost an hour, just driving randomly around town.

Yes!!! Everything yes! I felt like I was racing down a knife's edge and I was powerless to stop it. It was so overwhelming and scary as hell.

 

[Amossoma543]

Wow!
I've been there too. I had to sit there and talk myself down and be like no on my terms and today is not the day.

I envy people who I see in movies being put to death. I wish it was out of my hands, and I could just be led to it and have someone else do it. I'm so sick of struggling in my head with fear about it. I feel like I have a brick wall in front of me and a fire behind me. I can't go forward and can't go backwards. But I also realize that this is probably what almost everyone feels in this process.

 

[escapefromabuse]

I envy people who I see in movies being put to death. I wish it was out of my hands, and I could just be led to it and have someone else do it. I'm so sick of struggling in my head with fear about it. I feel like I have a brick wall in front of me and a fire behind me. I can't go forward and can't go backwards. But I also realize that this is probably what almost everyone feels in this process.

Trapped in every way. I still want to end it on my terms when I'm ready. My life is literally in my control. What a powerful feeling.

 

[PaYo]

i would be in vontroll of life if i had 75k$ a month, without it you are in controll of your death not life.