Discussion Would you still ctb if you won the lottery tmr?

[troubled_puppet]

i'd put my immediate family (two in my case for now) in a modest house in a nice quiet neighborhood, paid for. i'd put them on a regular predictable monthly income for bills taxes, hoa, yard care and groceries.

Spoiler: petty bs; tldr i'd make a family fund for my extended family who abandoned us

then i'd make a family fund for the damn extended family who didn't give a fck about us. i'd pay some finance person to make some quarterly dividend that all people eligible to have a living so they know i'm the person who would take care of them even if they never would have taken care of me or my parents. i dont want to see their faces. i dont want their apologies. i dont want to buy their guilt. i want them to know i'm shutting the doors on them while still making sure they know i have the funds to take care of them.

then i'd formalize my Last Will and Testament and make sure that no one can fck with my stuff when im gone.

maybe at that point i'd CBT.

but if im still around. i'd reinvest and make indie games. rent a studio, hire people. have yearly stretch goals to donate to charities in big sums. maybe make up cool charity events, "feed the gamers" inititive or something, or boost tech literacy programs in my local area. make cool platformers. make cool weird indie games. i want to work with cool people. i dunno. that's the pipe dream.

 

[deadofdespair]

When I think about it now, the answer is no. But I think in reality if it was to happen the thoughts would return. I have been cursed.

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

I'm not talking about 1k or even 10k. Hypothetically, if you got life changing money like 10M bucks after taxes and everything would you still decide to ctb? Whether the answer is yes or no, what would you like to do with the money?

In my case, there are just some things I can't change even with that amount of money. I can't change who my parents are. I can't change how I feel about myself. I can't change my past. I honestly don't even feel the desire to change anything in life ever since I've made up my mind. However, I would probably delay my exit. I still wish to enjoy the world one last time before I go, so if I do end up with life-changing money, I would like to travel around the world. I'd like to see the Earth one last time. In the end, I don't think my decision to ctb will change. I have no regrets and nothing left to live for so it would only end up delaying my plan just like any other unforeseen circumstance.

gonna Use that to make more money have tons of fun and also organise the most expensive and theatrical suicide ever

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

yes i would still kill myself

money would help me do a more private and more reliable suicide away from humans

 

[tamamshud107]

I would definitely take a pause. Do all the things I've never had the means to do. Bless some people who need a hand. Then, yes, I'll always end up finding most comfort in death. It'll just postpone it, a bit.