would it be selfish to take someone else with me?

[clearing eyes]

my lover has decided that he actually wants to die with me. that he will go wherever i go. i don't know if he's thinking clearly. he has so much potential, unlike me. i don't want him to throw away his chances at a good life. he says he doesn't want to live in a world that i'm not in. should i let him die with me?

 

[falloutcarter13]

my lover has decided that he actually wants to die with me. that he will go wherever i go. i don't know if he's thinking clearly. he has so much potential, unlike me. i don't want him to throw away his chances at a good life. he says he doesn't want to live in a world that i'm not in. should i let him die with me?

I think the words I bolded say it all. Put yourself in his shoes. Don't take away his decision, as you wouldn't want him to take yours away. That's my two cents, anyway...but then again, I always found the idea as romantic as possible lol. That said, if you *truly* believe he's not thinking straight and may need help, encourage him to get it. There's no harm in helping someone be sure of their own decision, that's not the same thing as imposing your own will or feelings on them, you know?

I'm sorry you're at this point btw (even though I'm there too)

 

[C_F]

Personally I would not want someone to take their life for that reason. I don't think he's thinking clearly. I'd try to avoid letting him do that.

 

[SoIntoYou]

my lover has decided that he actually wants to die with me. that he will go wherever i go. i don't know if he's thinking clearly. he has so much potential, unlike me. i don't want him to throw away his chances at a good life. he says he doesn't want to live in a world that i'm not in. should i let him die with me?

I can't think of a more romantic thing. Life doesn't end after death, so there might be a way to be together in the afterlife.

 

[falloutcarter13]

Although at first it sounds very sweet of him it's also emotional blackmail. He's making you responsible for whether or not he lives or dies. That's a heavy burden to put on you. It's not really your responsibility.

This could very well be true. Suicide is complicated enough...when other people are involved in the decision and have foreknowledge of it, it just makes everything that much messier *sigh*

 

[Sinai Silence]

I would try to find out if it was something he genuinely wanted to do before going through with it though.

If he has made that decision himself then atleast you both get to go together. I couldn't think of anything more romantic.

 

[TrailerTrash]

Maybe neither of you are thinking clearly. Curious about the choice of wording "let him" ..... who's deciding? In the end, it's possible there's no clear answer to this question either way. Wishing you guys the best no matter what the decision.

 

[thereandgone]

Technically, yes you are being selfish in the sense that you are acting in your own interests. But there is nothing wrong with that. Ultimately you have to do what's right for you and he has to do what's right for him. Maybe your interests intersect, maybe they don't.

 

[raindrops]

I wish I had a partner. You are lucky someone is by your side and wants to keep you close. I want to die because of loneliness, I only love one person, I refuse to love someone else or even try. I wanna ctb so he goes "I miss her for real now, it could of been better" you're not selfish, the way I think is selfish.

This may sound annoying, cheesy, unfair but can't you just stay together, do things like walks to the forest or beach, picnics, watch the sunset, listen to music, make dinner, cuddle in bed, mini trips away or if not something like camping in the garden/on the beach. I'm cheesy but you have something I want that would make me want to live. People tell me to do these things with "friends" but none of it is the same, so I get how stupid I sound telling you this.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Life doesn't end after death, so there might be a way to be together in the afterlife.

[citation needed]

 

[dec132013]

Legally it'd be a really bad idea to have a suicide pact in case one of you survives, morally it differs between person to person.

Some find it selfish to ctb and view it as transferring your depression, while others view it as selfish to force someone to keep living. If you're worried about him following your footsteps, i'd say the best/only way to really 100% ensure he won't ctb after you do is to stay alive for him.

 

[Life_and_Death]

did you ever sit down and talk to them about it? have a heart to heart conversation and talk about how you feel about the whole thing and how your partner feels?

 

[Cherrypea]

I've read about mothers taking their young children with them, I can understand that completely, why would you leave them in such a horrible world. I asked my partner if we could all ctb together but he refused.

 

[rhiino]

You want the freedom to make the decision to end your life. You cannot deny him this freedom at the same time.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

@clearing eyes Forgive me for asking this. I really have no way to relate to this butdoes having someone who loves you to that extent make you want to stay with him? I'm not trying to talk you out of anything or to make your decisions even harder than I know they must be. But having someone willing to die for you - does that make you think twice about living for him at all? I'm so glad you have him, that you have each other. I just can't relate to it at all and I'm curious.

 

[Meditation guide]

He might have a change of heart when it comes right down to it. He sounds very dramatic.

 

[SoIntoYou]

[citation needed]

Hey man. Don't worry, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just retracing the steps where I learned this stuff, rereading some stuff, and trying to put something together that's digestible. There's actually scientific work that's been done in this area (it's just not something that's going to be published on pubmed, if you know what I mean). It might take a day or a week, or longer. I'm not really rushing this. Patience, please =)

 

[bravotess]

I wish I had a partner. You are lucky someone is by your side and wants to keep you close. I want to die because of loneliness, I only love one person, I refuse to love someone else or even try. I wanna ctb so he goes "I miss her for real now, it could of been better" you're not selfish, the way I think is selfish.

This may sound annoying, cheesy, unfair but can't you just stay together, do things like walks to the forest or beach, picnics, watch the sunset, listen to music, make dinner, cuddle in bed, mini trips away or if not something like camping in the garden/on the beach. I'm cheesy but you have something I want that would make me want to live. People tell me to do these things with "friends" but none of it is the same, so I get how stupid I sound telling you this.

I feel this. I want him to know his leaving literally killed me.