followingfate
Member
- Dec 26, 2020
- 39
it's 5 am
I haven't slept in a while, I just can't
so my mind is all over the place
things with my s/o are just getting worse.
they say they feel unloved, and that I'm mean. I've been so sad lately, and a big part of that is getting ready to ctb. I guess that makes me come off as mean. but I feel horrible. I feel like the worst. and I can't tell them because they've already threatened to call 911 on me before. it also doesn't help I still feel guilty about leaving my ex. he genuinely cared about me and was so depressed. and I started dating someone a month after. I'm horrible.
there are other events that are just. making me feel more and more ready to ctb. I keep getting scared but, I have to. everything keeps on worsening. I've been waiting years.
I should start on writing a note now. I've never known how to start it.
I haven't slept in a while, I just can't
so my mind is all over the place
things with my s/o are just getting worse.
they say they feel unloved, and that I'm mean. I've been so sad lately, and a big part of that is getting ready to ctb. I guess that makes me come off as mean. but I feel horrible. I feel like the worst. and I can't tell them because they've already threatened to call 911 on me before. it also doesn't help I still feel guilty about leaving my ex. he genuinely cared about me and was so depressed. and I started dating someone a month after. I'm horrible.
there are other events that are just. making me feel more and more ready to ctb. I keep getting scared but, I have to. everything keeps on worsening. I've been waiting years.
I should start on writing a note now. I've never known how to start it.
