Worried I mess it up.

[JoeyJoey]

I want to do it but am worried I will mess it up.
My luck and timing is awful that is why I am in this mess.
If I jump off of something I will probably land on something that just happens to be passing. It I tried hanging the rope would probably snap even if I was using the suggested type, it would just be my luck that the rope had something wrong with it and I had picked that exact faulty rope.

If I tried medicine and booze even following the instructions to the letter while in bed the neighbors house would probably catch fire and I would be rescued by firefighters from the fire but also my planned death.

Even if I could get hold of a gun the bullet would probably ricochet off a piece of bone and exit my skull with minimal damage in a billion to one chance reaction.

My life is so bad in many ways and so bad that even trying to kill myself it just wouldn't happen.

That's making me feel worse

 

[Wrennie]

I feel the exact same way and that's one of the only reasons I'm still here. I can't afford another blunder.

 

[JoeyJoey]

I feel the exact same way and that's one of the only reasons I'm still here. I can't afford another blunder.

 

[FuneralCry]

The fear of failure is what holds me back from ctb. I deserve a peaceful and reliable exit, I should not have to resort to methods that can fail in the first place. To me it is terrifying the thought of an attempt failing. People should be able to peacefully end their suffering at a time of their own choosing. I'm sorry that you have to deal with these fears, this life really can be so horrible. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[JoeyJoey]

The fear of failure is what holds me back from ctb. I deserve a peaceful and reliable exit, I should not have to resort to methods that can fail in the first place. To me it is terrifying the thought of an attempt failing. People should be able to peacefully end their suffering at a time of their own choosing. I'm sorry that you have to deal with these fears, this life really can be so horrible. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thanks