Venting Wishing for cancer or a deadly disease.

[Zzzzz]

I have been trying my best to recover, but it's not working at all. I still want to die essentially every single day. But since my Si is apparently too strong for suicide, I'm just hoping I get cancer or something. But what bothers me is how long this process could take. Just need to vent my thoughts because I can't say much in person without people assuming I'm a pessimist or ungrateful for everything good in my life. I'm grateful for all good things in my life, I'm just not grateful at all for life itself. I could HAPPILY DO without life. I think the struggles are too great and the pleasures are too little.

 

[justtoojaded]

Screw cancer. It's drawn out, uncomfortable, and expensive.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is so difficult and it's understandable wanting to die from a disease. Even know it sounds horrible dying from a disease at least it would mean that I would not have to think about methods anymore and worry about methods failing. The ideal situation would be to just peacefully pass away in my sleep but I think that only really old people die that way. It's just unfair how it's so hard to leave this life behind. Life is just constant suffering all for the sake of it with no relief. Those who no longer exist are so lucky, I always envy them.

 

[theboy]

Me 2

 

[sapphoslastpoem]

I actually wish I would get cancer. Some really lethal form of it and I'd just let it take me. I'd never get treatment, never follow up with doctors or even tell the people in my life that I have it and hopefully die sooner than if I tried getting chemo or radiation.