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It's so true. My boyfriend killed himself and after a couple weeks of support everyone just drifted away. I was alone by myself crying every day for months. No one even wanted to talk about such an uncomfortable subject or look and deal with such grief.I understand how you feel and I'm very sorry you do feel that way.
And I completely agree with @brokensea about how people seem to have no loyalty these days and connections mean so little. Very few seem to value actual interaction and connection with others, now that the internet and social media have made meeting and 'hooking up' so easy. Not just romantic relationships either but friendships. Nobody wants to put any effort into meeting other people and definitely not any effort into any kind of relationship; if things get rocky or there needs to be real communication, people bail now instead of working through things. People and relationships have become like Kleenex, so easy to just toss away. Everyone and everything has become expendable and disposable.
But remember, even if you have a partner/relationship depending on circumstances, factors, situations, how you're being treated, you can still feel very much alone. Even some celebrities say, with all the attention in the world they still feel alone.
People demand positivity... But I think it's when we are vulnerable together that we can bond deeply. Instead of being trapped behind a mask. I recognize your avatar, that makes you special to me.
I'm not talking about a relationship itself, i'm talking about family, friends, acquaintances, so, a social environment.
I've been alone my entire life, people are fake/rude and have used me/taken advantage of me/stepped on me/abused me/betrayed me/been snakes no matter how "popular" or "attractive" or "nice" I am. People are just disgusting. I now have turned off my feelings and am cold to people. Now when a man wants to talk to me I simply am not interested cuz i'm numb. Or if I meet new "friends" I always think about how it's not gonna last and they too will end up betraying me.
But lets say if you're having a bad day, one of those guys can take you out for dinner or something fun, you have options, other people don't have anyone, you see the difference, and they might not love you right away but you have people to make plans with and maybe make some connections.
I personally wouldn't go out with anyone but I get the just wanting someone to ask you/be desired part. Honestly to me it means nothing because once you learn the ways of being aloof/nonchalant and simply not giving a fuck you actually want the opposite where you want people to leave you alone. If i am having a bad day i'd rather spend it alone. But I get how others would want that feeling of being wanted or thought of.
I was having a bad day, a guy with a lover offered to cheer me up. When my illness made me too weak to fight, he took off my clothes & molested me, I said no 5 times, he said I needed an orgasm. No, I needed to remove the allergen from my home & have a real friend not a criminal.
God, f**k. You said it so well. Even though I never got that much attention from anyone, that last part hurts to read. As soon as you drop the act, everyone leaves. That the people never really cared about you, just the idea of you.
