Will you be missed?

[sweetcreep]

my parents will. they love and care for me and i know my death will be a shock to them. the guilt that i could destroy them by killing myself is one thing that's paused my hand many times. maybe some other family members, but they'll most likely miss the memories of me when i was a child. i don't talk very much with anyone at all anymore, so i don't really have friends. the one friend i have will miss me, but i'm sure after a while he'll forget and move on like everyone else has. he mostly keeps me around because i'm useful to him i think, we don't have much in common besides our mental struggles.

honestly, i don't want to be remembered. if i could erase all evidence of my existence, i would. i hope everyone forgets about me and no one cries for me

 

[closetoyou]

i got like one friend i actually hang out who would care but it prolly wouldn't bother him that much - he'd be fine in a week lol. my sister would probably be fucked up from it though

im not close to my dad and brother but it'd probably unnerve them, maybe not initially but over time.

reason i dont want a funeral - itd be like two people who actually knew me lmao

 

[claracatchingthebus]

No

 

[tlsrn]

Do you want to be missed?

No

Are you leaving anyone behind?

No

How do you feel about it?

Nothing. I don't feel anything anymore .

 

[superbfrawg]

I hate that i will be missed, i hate that i have a family that loves me and im still so messed up, sometimes i wish they hated me so that i could CTB with a clear conscience, it worries me thinking about how they will feel when i ctb

 

[Kos]

I don't have anyone out there for me anymore. It's just me in this world now. Whatever comes after feels much better than what's left in this world.

 

[NonEssential]

It's unfortunate, but my death would hurt my family members a lot.

I hate that i will be missed, i hate that i have a family that loves me and im still so messed up, sometimes i wish they hated me so that i could CTB with a clear conscience, it worries me thinking about how they will feel when i ctb

same.

 

[Eriktf]

im not sure

i a little contact with people but only a few
im on god terms with most people but do they care? idk
i can image close family and 2-3 outside that will care/grief but not more then "someone they know died" we all care to an extent when someone we know die but im not a big part of anyone life so i dont think they will "care" for to long

 

[Dark Moon]

Just the family that would miss me; I had one friend that moved to another country, he would probably be sad if he found out but just move on and forget about me regardless and I'm not bothered about being missed or not.

 

[whywere]

No one will ever miss me, no one ever knew me. Even the cat hates me. I'm entirely alone in the entire world. And I don't give a fuck.

Well I DO care about you a lot. I also have no family nor friends, however I have you and so many others here, and you have me and I bet so many others also.

That is the biggest aspect of this site is caring and loving each other on here and you are NOT alone, nope never!

There may be distance between us, BUT caring and kindness transends everything.

Huge hugs and lovely sunny blue skies to you, my awesome friend.

Walter

 

[deep-sleeper]

I think I will be missed in some ways, but I am also a burden to everyone around me, so I am better off dead

 

[batmanreal]

not really

 

[slowdance]

I keep going back and forth about whether anyone will actually miss me or just resent that I made them contemplate their own mortality and force them to attend a funeral. If I will be missed then they can use the coping skills they've been trying to force on me to get over it. Or they can kill themselves too. It's not my problem.

 

[Tord]

I don't know, and I don't really care to be honest.

No matter if 0 or 1000 people miss me when I am dead, I'd be too dead to witness that anyway.

 

[Irisse]

My family will definitely miss me as they do love me, but they will never be enough of a reason to stay because some of their actions directly lead me to my doom. I only have one friend and several acquaintances but they will forget about me fast. I wish no one missed me tbh, it would make ctb much easier.

 

[Tulsa Sam 52]

I will be 73 on Friday. I have no one left in the world. The nursing home is holding my wife hostage. Elder Crime is such a tradition in PA no one even wants to investigate it. I can't stand watching her rot away so the nursing home can leach off her social security check. I will be out in the street in a few weeks myself. My wife will wonder what happened to me, but I have done all I can do to free her. I will be waiting for her in the next world. Otherwise no one cares if I live or die and there is not one wretched thing I will miss from here. Not that anyone would miss me, but I say "Don't feel sorry for me. I am out of here and you are still stuck on this horrible mud ball. Which of us is better off?"

 

[Incompatible-444]

I'll definitely be missed which makes this whole thing harder. I keep going back and forth between CTB or not. I was so assured last night but today I keep waivering on and off like I either just want to do it now or never at all. My children will miss me, my family will miss be, my soon to be ex wife might miss me but I'm not sure. Like a lot of people on this thread, I wish I could just disappear without any impact on anyone else's life. I want my actions to take me and only me out, I don't want to hurt anyone by wanting an escape from all the pain.

I'm tired man, I'm just tired.

 

[HybridMindset]

I hope my father doesn't. He always tried so much, yet never tried enough or in the right places. I hate my stepmother... but my mum I worry about. She's the best parent I know, but is also the person I've inherited some of my struggles from. I imagine my sibling would probably understand... at least eventually.

I'm not sure who else might care. I could probably think of one other person, but they would unfortunately be part of my motivation.

 

[NellyGoes]

There might be a couple of people who will miss me at first, but I think long-term, not really. If there was anyone who would miss me that much, then I would know about it now... and I probably would not feel as alone as I do.

This is pretty close to how it is for me. I don't rly feel "alone" as I like solitude but it sure sucks to have no one in your life, no support system. (But ig I'll take some personal blame for it.. we must invest in that etc. just hard to do when you're sick. )

But yeah, a few who will say "oh so sad". Then after a few weeks or months tops I may not even be much of a memory anymore. Oh well. :/
(I'm part very grateful for it bc I won't be leaving much trauma behind, and part jealous of all the ppl on this thread who have true loved ones in their life.)

 

[MyShadow]

In perfect honesty, I really don't know. I've spent the past two months isolating myself and so far, nobody has come looking.

 

[Dejected 55]

In perfect honesty, I really don't know. I've spent the past two months isolating myself and so far, nobody has come looking.

That's me... and I'm fine with it since I want to be gone... but it's also just further proof to me that I am alone. People who really cared would try, they would at least have made themselves available to listen instead of disappearing. They also wouldn't have just showered you with platitudes... like offering "thoughts and prayers" and doing literally nothing else. Not that they owe anything... but platitudes are almost worse than doing nothing.

 

[Daxter777]

Very much so and it's one of the things that fill me with an immense amount of guilt and fear.

My mom is over the moon for me, I am her only child and we where extremely close and still are. She is aware that i get suicidal but i honestly think the day I commit suicide she will not be able to function anymore. She will have a total mental break down. And I feel very much guilty for that. Evertime I start a note to leave her I break down and sob. I very much love her and do not want to put her through that pain but I am also tired of my own pain struggles battles and shit.

Edit: also my half sister would lose it. Our dad ctb i believe it was 3 years ago and she has latched on to me since then and having to faceanother suicide I think will really mess with her psych

 

[Liseli]

I don't think I'll be missed. I'll just be another dead body

 

[Galam]

No they do not care this is why I don't have friends, partners, job and so on. I am not a part of society. Nobody cared for Valerie Solanas and Audrey Hale even after their dead only woman like me know them and mainstream pretends they are bad and evil. For me both are heros.

 

[willitpass]

I will be missed. I'll be leaving behind siblings and my father, as well as some friends. Awhile they will be hurt, and nothing can be done to prevent or ease that hurt, no one will be surprised. Not only have they watched me fighting for a year straight this passed year, spending it almost entirely inpatient and losing myself in the process, they have watched me fighting for a decade and a half now. I think there will be a part of them deep down, even through the horror and pain of it all, that will be glad that I'm not suffering anymore. As much as they want me here, I know it's been very difficult for them to watch me decline in front of their eyes the last several months. My only consolation is that this past year has proved to them that I did give it one last hurrah before I left. When I die, they will know through first hand that I tried to stay with them. I didn't leave without a fight. I hope that will bring them at least a tiny bit of comfort. But I can't continue like this just to protect other people. This is not a life worth living. This is not a life I would wish on my worst enemy.