Why I come here and post

[Tintypographer]

I come here and post and I am a part of this place because no where else in the world am I understood. I get banned and others are glad for it when treatment doesn't work for me. This place has people like me who understand.

We understand that reframing and cognitive therapy doesn't work for us. We understand that "i can't ever love myself". We understand what it is like to appear to have a good life but still hate everything about it.

When people realize you can't be swaged by simple platitudes they said "you need help" and want you kicked from their forum.

When you find a place like this to communicate they want shut this down.

I hope and pray that this forum lives forever in servers and sub forums and places online through the world and cyberspace so that there is always a place where you will be able to share you feelings of hopelessness with people who will not kick you out because they fear your disease.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, this is the one place where we can talk about suicide without being told toxic positivity and platitudes. People who are not suicidal themselves will never be able to comprehend what it is like. They live under a delusion that life is always worth living and the society tries to force us to live. However we have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing, it is our life our decision and nobody else has any say in it.

 

[Tintypographer]

I'm actually not fighting for the right to take my own life. I kind of understand why people have a revulsion to that although I'm not fighting to take that right away either. I actually believe that in most forums, help groups, therapy, even suicide hotlines, people don't want to even hear that "I want to die and there is nothing you can say that will make me feel different".

I feel that people always brush that off as "you need more help than we can give so please go away and don't post things like that or we will take away your account"

Truth is, I do want to die, people on this forum want to die, people in the real world want to die. Some of us (more than the general population likes to think) have not been helped at all by medication, therapy, reframing, talking or looking on the bright side. I DO THINK ABOUT KILLING MYSELF. I DO PLAN FOR IT. I HATE WHO I AM AND NO REFRAMING CAN CHANGE THAT.

it's the truth. I come here because no where else am I able to say that without either being banned or told to go somewhere and get help.

I want the right to say that and not be helped and not be banned.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

At the end, many of us come here for the same reason, some leave because they recover, some stay and keep it going, some leave because they ctb; at the end, this is a Hospital for Souls, one of it's kind and rarely seen anywhere else but some still want to take it down.

Let's hope for this place to be here for us and those who may need a place to openly talk, there are already too many places out there that won't allow open conversations.

Good luck for us.