suicidalsadie
Member
- Jun 7, 2025
- 5
I need to make a few more posts on here to enable functions so I figured I'd share why I have to CTB. I don't want to, I want to live. But 22 months ago I had an acoustic trauma that resulted in me getting an incredibly rare condition called Noxacusis.
From the moment it happened until now my ears haven't stopped hurting me. The pain gets worse and unbearable with setbacks. It's to the point now where I haven't spoken with my own voice in 5 months because any noise is too much. I sleep and live in my bathroom on a mattress topper because the sound of the birds outside hurt too much, and it's the only room without outside walls. The pain feels like someone is stabbing me in the ear with ice picks and pouring hot acid down my canals.
I've been to countless doctors and done treatments but none have worked. I am currently trying to convince a doctor near me to do an experimental surgery on me but if he won't I don't have much fight in me left. There is no cure. I will be like this for the rest of my life. I am 24 F and I just turned 22 at the time of the accident. I was about to get married in a month and live the life I always wanted. Now I am alone in a dark bathroom with ear plugs and still in agony from physical pain because somebody in a semi truck decided to lay on their airhorn 3 feet from me standing there.
My plan is SN if I can get a pure source. Already ordered from FF but not sure it is good
From the moment it happened until now my ears haven't stopped hurting me. The pain gets worse and unbearable with setbacks. It's to the point now where I haven't spoken with my own voice in 5 months because any noise is too much. I sleep and live in my bathroom on a mattress topper because the sound of the birds outside hurt too much, and it's the only room without outside walls. The pain feels like someone is stabbing me in the ear with ice picks and pouring hot acid down my canals.
I've been to countless doctors and done treatments but none have worked. I am currently trying to convince a doctor near me to do an experimental surgery on me but if he won't I don't have much fight in me left. There is no cure. I will be like this for the rest of my life. I am 24 F and I just turned 22 at the time of the accident. I was about to get married in a month and live the life I always wanted. Now I am alone in a dark bathroom with ear plugs and still in agony from physical pain because somebody in a semi truck decided to lay on their airhorn 3 feet from me standing there.
My plan is SN if I can get a pure source. Already ordered from FF but not sure it is good
