Why do you want to die?

[Chronic]

Interested in what others are going through. For me it's severe chronic pain that doctors do not want to treat combined with divorce and a general dissatisfaction with the current state of the country/world and the lack of kindness/compassion in society.

 

[Bigpink]

Empty, lonely miserable life

 

[artificial_ineptness]

I am not sure if I need a reason to want to die, it's just always at the back of my mind, but the quick-n-dirty justification is that I'm an ugly anhedonic autist that no one cares about.

It is probably better for everyone that has the displeasure of interacting with me that I off myself and It's not like I want be here, anyway, so it's a win-win.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/my-story-and-why-i-want-to-go.89119/

Yes, I am aware I can "transition". No, I don't want to go through a 5+ year process only to not "pass". I can't even exist properly day to day. No shot I am going to be able to power through years.

 

[Silent.Tears]

Interested in what others are going through. For me it's severe chronic pain that doctors do not want to treat combined with divorce and a general dissatisfaction with the current state of the country/world and the lack of kindness/compassion in society.

Toxic and controlling parents.
I'm an adult but as of now cannot get away from here. I wish I could die right now

 

[savoytruffle]

multitude of mental illnesses and the fact that I missed out on the few crucial chances that could have gotten me out of poverty, i'm doomed to spend an entire life as a work slave for a society that doesn't want me, i always assumed I wouldn't live past the age of 18 when I was younger and now I'm over that and with absolutely no life plans because my only plan ever was to ctb

 

[outrider567]

Death of my longtime girlfriend 4 months ago, I'm just as depressed, tearful, and joyless today as when the day she died

 

[makebelieve]

Being ugly and suffering from severe acne scarring.

 

[motel rooms]

I am simply not interested in living, especially in a reality such as this.

I read what you wrote the other day before you deleted it. Please don't tell me you're still considering drowning.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

No future, going nowhere in life. I don't have the will to try having a life.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

severe chronic pain

me too - try Xanax for pain, it is very effective for me, way more so than Opiates,but take every other day, else tolerance means you need more and more, and it becomes less effective, and addiction withdrawal can be fatal

 

[Conker]

It doesn't matter any longer how "good" the dream can get..
Even should I end up surprising myself & others.

I'm exhausted, and would rather not exist. Amnesia, ticks, etc.. it's all so overwhelming.
Only a divine miracle can change the course I am on

Time Warps - Pedophilia - Chemtrails - Human Cloning - Murder by the Numbers over and over again.

 

[Weebster]

I believe that my life is spiraling because I've accomplished what I needed to do in this life (whatever that is) and it's time for me to return Home.

 

[Lullaby]

It's a mixture of different reasons, but my PTSD has been dominating much of my recent life, which fuels a lot of my depression and anxiety. Lately, it's been incredibly hard to deal with and I haven't been able to function much at all.

It's hard dealing with constant triggers and memories, especially when I'm outside. I'm constantly fighting not to completely fall apart. This makes it difficult to work, have friendships, relationships, and take care of myself.

Trying to recover from years of trauma and hardships makes this even more harder; it feels like parts inside of me are being ripped apart and re-constructed. You really have to go through the absolute worst to get to the best, it's apart of the process and I just feel like I'm too weak and tired to keep going forward.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Career stalled out. Hope vanished. Cut off most friendships. Future grim. Quit all my interests and hobbies. Laying in bed all day. Health beginning to deteriorate. Darkness has finally caught up with me. Just want to sleep.

 

[fillthevoid]

I want to die because of the domino effect since I was a young teen. I want to die because no matter how many chances I am given, I continuously fuck up. I continuously fuck up because I am broken and I need deep healing. I keep trying but I keep failing because I simply am not capable of anything in this state. I can't take the time to heal, because I lack the feeling of security and stability that I'd like to make me feel like I can let go. I need a safe space to heal, to get the help I need, to be able to focus on me without trying to deal with other problems as well. I need this probably for a good few years to make a difference. I could get better with the exact right help. I could be ok, I think. But nobody is going to pick me up and get me there. And I'm just not strong enough; after years of trying and failing, I can see that. So it's never going to happen. I am defeated. Sadly, I will be in pain, I will struggle, for the rest of my life. There is no way it will change unless the changes that need to happen in my life occur. But they are not going to on their own. Nobody else will do it for me. And I can't, I'm incapable. This will carry on until I'm dead. There is no point in prolonging the inevitable.

 

[Cryptonite]

Misdiagnosed severe spinal disease by two incompetent doctors causing progressive levels of pain without any hope of cure

Interested in what others are going through. For me it's severe chronic pain that doctors do not want to treat combined with divorce and a general dissatisfaction with the current state of the country/world and the lack of kindness/compassion in society.

I've noticed that you've been living with severe chronic pain for 25 years

As a fellow chronic pain sufferer I 100% empathize with you, but also want to tell you, that you must be either an extremely tough person or crazy for putting up with this shit, because you deserve relief

 

[BrokenLine]

My life has run its course, no matter how hard i have or do try it never gets better.

 

[Thequietone]

I know I can never enjoy life. Even when I try to be happy it doesn't work. I have a good life now but I don't care about it. I also know no one will ever love me or protect me.

I'm 24 and I can't remember the last time I truly laughed and felt good.

I don't wanna be strong and keep fighting without a reason.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because I want nothing to do with life. Life is so horrifying, pointless and unnecessary. I do not see life as being worth living and I simply prefer the sound of non existence. If I am dead I cannot suffer and nothing can hurt me. I never asked for any of this in the first place and more than anything I wish that I never existed.

 

[Gaga786]

Childhood trauma. I was bullied severely in school and have a lot of problems in life as a result of it. I can hardly speak without stuttering, I have social anxiety.. my self esteem is crap and I stutter. My low intelligence and lack of a foundation in basic subjects like mathematics and English are reasons as well.

 

[Idontmatter]

Treatment resistant depression and anxiety. Tired of dealing with it and fighting. I am feeling guilty though that so many people are dealing with much worse than me. I've had my issues with growing up gay and being mentally abused by an ex but hearing some of the other stories makes me feel like I'm just a weak piece of shit.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Because if I don't, then I'm going to ruin some peoples' lives eventually. Doesn't matter whose and doesn't matter whether or not I'll mean to do it but I know for sure that if I am left alive, then people will suffer all the more for it including me.

 

[fillthevoid]

Treatment resistant depression and anxiety. Tired of dealing with it and fighting. I am feeling guilty though that so many people are dealing with much worse than me. I've had my issues with growing up gay and being mentally abused by an ex but hearing some of the other stories makes me feel like I'm just a weak piece of shit.

You are valid and your suffering is valid no matter how you get there, you are allowed and totally justified in feeling how you do.

 

[Idontmatter]

You are valid and your suffering is valid no matter how you get there, you are allowed and totally justified in feeling how you do.

It's just part of my self hatred. I was brought up to think gay people are sick so my self esteem has always been low. I'm just amazed how strong people are on here to have survived what they went through and are still fighting. Whatever decision they make I'll still always admire them.

 

[fillthevoid]

It's just part of my self hatred. I was brought up to think gay people are sick so my self esteem has always been low. I'm just amazed how strong people are on here to have survived what they went through and are still fighting. Whatever decision they make I'll still always admire them.

Fully understand you. It is incredible what some people can go through. The immense suffering we're capable of living through is utterly incomprehensive sometimes like ... How is that possible to have gone through that and still be here, able to speak about it like this, and still even want to go on and keep trying.

We all have our own journeys... We all have different supports in our lives, different genetics / thresholds, and different learnt coping skills. It's way too complicated to be able to compare and say that someone's suffering is not as much as someone else's. I'm not saying it isn't or is. But without stepping into someone else's shoes, how can anyone know? We can only ever know how we ourselves feel.

We're all here for the same reason. Whatever has happened to us in our lives it has made us suffer to such a degree, that we no longer wish to continue on or are at least contemplating it. We've all reached that point, however we got there.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

It can be summed up with a general overwhelming exhaustion with life, and society at large.

But there are a lot of reasons besides the above
- I have severe intrusive thoughts that make it impossible to have a normal life, as I have to avoid my triggers and there are a Lot of them. Constant depression that doesn't seem to change much even on meds. Social, health, and general anxiety is not fun. Also, no focus and bad memory, oof.

-I hate how society is built to discard the poor, ill, and weak, yet raises up the rich and corrupt. Working to survive sucks, my job pays poorly and doesn't care about me and aforementioned social anxiety won't let me work anywhere else.

- I know this one is...almost silly I guess, but, I'm a t2 diabetic, and addicted to sweets and it's incredibly difficult to stop (they give my brain energy, a quick if brief happiness, and also the antidepressants make the cravings much worse.) I don't have the fortitude to manage a chronic illness on top of everything else.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I could list a litany of reasons that are nearly the same as just about anyone else on SS, notwithstanding those with chronic disease and physical pain. But, in it's most basic form, it really boils down to one thing:

My work is done and I'm no longer needed here.

 

[Life interrupted]

Chronic pain and an incurable illness

 

[TheWood]

Chronic disease