Why do people tell me to fix things instead of ctb?

[fisbp]

So I am an 18-year-old whose life is seriously ruined.

I lost every chance, and I don't have a bright future.

Yet people tell me to fix things instead of ctb.

They said I am very young, and I have many more chances ahead of me.

Even 20-year-old people don't get confronted when ctb.

Why should I be confronted, for the reason that I am an 18-year-old?

 

[Ta555]

This is not true. Even 80 year olds get confronted about ctb. For most people it is never acceptable to ctb even when there are no solutions to your problems.

I'm going to be very honest with you, but I find it hard to imagine that, barring severe health issues, an 18 year old may have ruined their life forever. I'm not prolife by any stretch of the imagination but unless you have some terrible diagnosis there is still a chance for you that things will get better. Without actually knowing your personal situation I can't comment.

But if you think the older you are the more people don't care about your suicide you're wrong. They'll always try to stop you no matter what age you are.

 

[Sakura94]

well unless you have a tons of medical conditions like I have you can usually fix them if you're young enough.
I'm not saying there is a wrong reason to kill youself but there can be other ways out of it that you just haven't spotted yet. Being young means more opportunities are open that are closed to someone older.
You 'd be hard pressed to find people who believe you've lost every chance already at 18. Though it will feel like it is.

 

[gottablast888]

ppl think youth is everything . they dont care how unhealthy you are physically or mentally they think there is always a chance. most people on earth will never have the life they want regardless of age.

 

[Cryptonite]

So I am an 18-year-old whose life is seriously ruined.

I lost every chance, and I don't have a bright future.

Yet people tell me to fix things instead of ctb.

They said I am very young, and I have many more chances ahead of me.

Even 20-year-old people don't get confronted when ctb.

Why should I be confronted, for the reason that I am an 18-year-old?

Being 18 shouldn't mean anything in this regard

What matters is how does the situation look like and whether it can be fixed or not

For example, I am 24 but I already know there is no hope at all because my spinal disease is incurable
Conversely, there may be some 80-year old whose problem can be fixed rather easily

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Well, I know you don't want to hear this shit, but at 18 YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE ANY CHANCES, AND ESPECIALLY SAY YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY CHANCES! And 20 years do get confronted about ctb. I'm sorry, but this give up on life shit at 18 really is starting, no, IS, pissing me off! It's freaking, fucking ridiculous! Go live some and then come back here if you're still having issues..........like at least another 15 years! You have no idea what living with misery is!

 

[freedompass]

This is not true. Even 80 year olds get confronted about ctb. For most people it is never acceptable to ctb even when there are no solutions to your problems.

I'm going to be very honest with you, but I find it hard to imagine that, barring severe health issues, an 18 year old may have ruined their life forever. I'm not prolife by any stretch of the imagination but unless you have some terrible diagnosis there is still a chance for you that things will get better. Without actually knowing your personal situation I can't comment.

But if you think the older you are the more people don't care about your suicide you're wrong. They'll always try to stop you no matter what age you are.

100% true, you will never be let off the hook ever, there is no acceptable age (or even circumstance) to ctb in the eyes of most people.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Being 18 shouldn't mean anything in this regard

What matters is how does the situation look like and whether it can be fixed or not

For example, I am 24 but I already know there is no hope at all because my spinal disease is incurable
Conversely, there may be some 80-year old whose problem can be fixed rather easily

To me, this is a legit reason....being in pain. I have no idea if a surgery is possible for you to help reduce pain or not. Maybe meds for a while until they no longer work. But, the condition is legit. What isn't legit is someone who only says that he has had every chance and has no bright future. Really? At 18? Really? EVERY CHANCE at 18? How many effing chances could you possibly have had at 18? This person's pimples haven't even enjoyed the misery of pollution, yet!

 

[FuneralCry]

In this world, many people do not respect the right to die, and maybe those people do not understand what you are going through as they are not in your situation. Some people can be insensitive and invalidating.
We all have the right to exit this world at a time of our own choosing, it is your life and your decision, only you know what is best for yourself. Nobody should be forced to live in a life that is just meaningless suffering, we will all die eventually no matter what anyway. Suicide should not be so stigmatised.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Why do people tell me to fix things instead of ct

Because they do not feel what you feel.

 

[M.i.245541]

I think that for most older people (including me), problems faced at 18y look like they could be resolved unless it's health related of course. That's why people will question and try to understand. As you get older, problems will get more complex, depression will get deeper, pain will cut more.
That being said, I do respect each one choice provided that it's not an impulsive decision

 

[Darkover]

i should of left at 18 now 36 life been nothing but shit to me ever since losing my gf at 18 not had one since just fucking leave life doesn't get any better in this shitty world

 

[User35688446786]

This annoys me too. Mostly age but also looks or any other redeeming character trait (humour etc) 'oh but you're young and pretty don't kill yourself it'll work out' like thanks but I still have to live with certain things I don't want to live with. I'm just under a decade older than you, the age thing is still always bought up whenever I mention suicide it's such a redundant point

 

[playing_ostrich]

Well, I know you don't want to hear this shit, but at 18 YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE ANY CHANCES, AND ESPECIALLY SAY YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY CHANCES! And 20 years do get confronted about ctb. I'm sorry, but this give up on life shit at 18 really is starting, no, IS, pissing me off! It's freaking, fucking ridiculous! Go live some and then come back here if you're still having issues..........like at least another 15 years! You have no idea what living with misery is!

i think your being a little too harsh

 

[its-about-time]

Being young is feeling everything very intensely and being quite sure that your emotions are facts… "my life is ruined and will never get better" is a good example of that. The people telling you to fix things have likely realized that even "hopeless" situations can be mendable. I'd compare it to younger people who ctb because they got bad grades. Some things can't be directly fixed, like flunking out of high school, but they can absolutely be worked around, and they certainly do not mean every other opportunity is ruined.

Your conclusion that this current stressor (or stressors up to this point) equals your life being forever ruined is incorrect, even though it's distressing and may be the only thing you see. Try to see the bigger picture. I hate when people tell me that, especially when I was your age, but damn if perspective doesn't make a difference..

 

[GongLiFang]

I am just going to say, as someone almost 20 you DO get confronted about CTB. All. The. Time. People don't like suicide at any age and for any matter, but the reasons they tell you not to CTB do change depending on what age you are.

I get the same thing "your life isn't ruined" "you can still do what you want" "there is so much potential" etc etc so I totally understand the frustration. Because we are young and haven't experience "enough" (whatever that means) people think we don't have solid ground to make this decision on.
Older people think we are jumping the gun on our perception of life and also don't like to live with the inconvenience of a young person dying. Also the potential thing is this really big deal, people would rather you slog through an awful life and "give it a chance" than just cut your losses. People so desperately want the notion of "it get's better" to be proven right for some reason. Family and friends gets this sense of accomplishment when their young troubled relative/peer magically overcomes the odds and becomes a success story. From my point of view, people tell you to fix your life and live it instead of CTB because they get this satisfaction of knowing they did something right or helped you "unlock your potential" (I really dislike this take if you can't tell). Or they simply don't want to go through the inconvenience or grief of processing someone's death.

And lastly, if this is the government or your job telling you this, they just want your money and labour and you dying doesn't fit their quotas.

This is my take anyways.

 

[Depressed hamster]

I am just going to say, as someone almost 20 you DO get confronted about CTB. All. The. Time. People don't like suicide at any age and for any matter, but the reasons they tell you not to CTB do change depending on what age you are.

I get the same thing "your life isn't ruined" "you can still do what you want" "there is so much potential" etc etc so I totally understand the frustration. Because we are young and haven't experience "enough" (whatever that means) people think we don't have solid ground to make this decision on.
Older people think we are jumping the gun on our perception of life and also don't like to live with the inconvenience of a young person dying. Also the potential thing is this really big deal, people would rather you slog through an awful life and "give it a chance" than just cut your losses. People so desperately want the notion of "it get's better" to be proven right for some reason. Family and friends gets this sense of accomplishment when their young troubled relative/peer magically overcomes the odds and becomes a success story. From my point of view, people tell you to fix your life and live it instead of CTB because they get this satisfaction of knowing they did something right or helped you "unlock your potential" (I really dislike this take if you can't tell). Or they simply don't want to go through the inconvenience or grief of processing someone's death.

And lastly, if this is the government or your job telling you this, they just want your money and labour and you dying doesn't fit their quotas.

This is my take anyways.

Maybe it's selfish or narcissistic of us to frame our own life experiences around yours, but for me personally, mentally, I was in a really dark place at 20 but at same time, I was on the precipice of the most wonderful, worth-while years of my life. I'm not sure what your current situation is, but it's hard to hear for myself and possibly others given personal experience.

 

[lobster salad]

Well, I know you don't want to hear this shit, but at 18 YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE ANY CHANCES, AND ESPECIALLY SAY YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY CHANCES! And 20 years do get confronted about ctb. I'm sorry, but this give up on life shit at 18 really is starting, no, IS, pissing me off! It's freaking, fucking ridiculous! Go live some and then come back here if you're still having issues..........like at least another 15 years! You have no idea what living with misery is!

this sounds like you're telling them to live for more years just to take in the same amounts of suffering you received, which is totally not encouraging at all imo sorry.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

this sounds like you're telling them to live for more years just to take in the same amounts of suffering you received, which is totally not encouraging at all imo sorry.

No, that's not what my intent is. All I'm saying is that at 18 years old someone hasn't done enough living, yet, IMO, to make a sane, rational, decision about ending one's life. Who knows what life could bring someone in another 10 years, even 20 years? No one really knows what's in store in their life, or can come into their life, maybe just around the corner. I don't want ANYONE to suffer at ANY TIME, ANYWHERE, PERIOD! At 18 years old, the brain isn't even fully developed, yet. You know, some of the stuff that happens to us, say in high school, and I mean the "bad" stuff..........the teasing, and the torment, and the fights.....all of that stuff is stuff that happens to a bunch of people and most don't just go and kill themselves over it. It may be BS to have to go through it, but it's still a part of growing up. That kind of stuff has been happening for hundreds of years, probably since human's first came into being. The weaker always get picked on. And no it isn't right. I'm not saying that. I am saying that it can make one stronger over the long term. Life can get better, especially when someone is only 18 years old. To me it sounds like your intent is trying to talk this 18 year old INTO CTB. Do you remember how it was back when you were a teenager? Every little crisis seemed like the end of the world. Teenager always over-dramatize everything. And I'm not trying to diminish the OPs issues. I'm just saying that at such a young age, more deference needs to be given to thinking through things, taking a deep breath, hanging in their, and seeing what quite a few tomorrow will bring.