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When you're visibly suffering in the company of other people, and they...

  • don't ask you about how you're doing

    Votes: 3 14.3%
  • ask how you're doing, and you respond truthfully; they let the conversation die

    Votes: 6 28.6%
  • ask how you're doing, and you respond truthfully; they just make prescriptive comments

    Votes: 12 57.1%

  • Total voters
    21
R. A.

R. A.

But...the future refused to change.
Aug 8, 2022
1,222
This is a tough one for me! If someone's gonna try and dig into my wounded existence I want them to show a little compassion and attempt at understanding for fuck's sake, so I'd say while the first option can be very tough, it'd be down to 2 or 3. I think I need to take some time and think on my answer to my own poll.

Edit to clarify: I don't just mean they're asking in a habitual "how are you?" kind of way; they either know or get the sense that something isn't right. And when you answer, you aren't unloading every single thing onto them, but you are acknowledging that you are not good.
 
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A

akirat9

エクトリアン
Sep 23, 2022
386
all of them. don't talk just let me die while i am in the middle of it
 
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foreverfalling

foreverfalling

Experienced
Jul 22, 2022
272
I'd rather they don't ask to save us both time and effort. If they let the conversation die then I can at least give them the benefit of the doubt that they are possibly sensitive and just don't know what to say. Otherwise if they give me cliches it just shows that they 100% don't give a shit, and just invalidated everything I said, so I'd say that would piss me off the worst.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,157
The last choice pisses me off the most because not only is it dismissive of my plight(s), but also presumptuous, implying that they know what's best for me (which they do not).
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
When people ask how I'm doing I say fine…
 
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S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
I chose the second one. It makes me feel lonely. Like they heard me but didn't acknowledge what I said.

When they share flimsy comebacks and suggestions, I chalk it up to their "programming." It gets better. Hang in there.

Blah blah blah. Sure.
 
S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
Truthfully, none of them upset me because communication is hard, and language is imprecise. The way "how are you" is used in our culture is strange, and I don't blame any one individual for this. If a cashier asks this then typically people say good how are you and they say good, it's just a way of saying hi on our society when it is someone who you don't know. If it is someone you know well you may get more in depth, depending on what your relationship with them is- have you had in depth conversations with them before? For people you know some it is somewhere in between. It is an odd expression that can be awkward, but I don't get mad at anybody about this weird quirk of how this expression is used- I just keep in mind that the depth of the response depends on the depth of your relationship with this person.
 
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