I'm sorry that you struggle so much. I hope you will find either a way to find your life worth living, or a way of leaving you're comfortable (enough) with.
I don't get it why the culture of this group is to be so sensitive about Airbnb owners, while being often quite sharp about landlords, and usually not giving a heck about ctb-ing in the rented apartment that is just, well, rented. Landlords usually use Airbnb to make more money from shorter stays than from renting to one person that rents for months or years. Why are we supposed to care about the Airbnb owners but not regular landlords? Or do we now have to own a property to be allowed to ctb there?

Considering the economy in most of the world, it's more serious gatekeeping that some pro-lifers

And of course not allowed to ctb if a relative may find you, and not allowed if you may lie there for a long time, if anyone may inherit it as it would decrease the value… Guys, should we expect a thread about how much flatulence each method causes, because of the methane harmful to ozone layer?
Sorry OP for being so silly in so serious topic, but in my opinion this is getting ridiculous when people are so sensitive about the Airbnb hosts feelings.