Venting whenever I go outside I come back thinking about ctb

[Ravel]

I just can't live like a normal person. I want to be normal like everyone else. Whenever I go outside I feel weird, lost, inferior I can't enjoy things, i have no ambition i literally cant imagine a future for myself, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. There's nothing out there for me, it's all stressful, noisy, meaningless. I always come home wanting ctb as soon as possible. I don't even feel pain anymore, just emptiness

 

[...]

can relate to this. hadn't been outside in nearly two months and after about five minutes I came back and immediately needed to go to bed. just complete exhaustion at the prospect of life.

I will be inside for long enough that I start to think ok I will give this another go and ill slowly build myself up, get my sleeping routine more normal, eating routine, water, shower, all that stuff for a week beforehand to prepare. but no matter what I then go outside and I just immediately go back to feeling suicidal and go back to isolation. and repeat and repeat.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. I also feel like there is nothing here for me in this world, my existence is very pointless and empty. I dread the future so much. This life can be very depressing. I wish you the best.

 

[ikadasui]

I just can't live like a normal person. I want to be normal like everyone else. Whenever I go outside I feel weird, lost, inferior I can't enjoy things, i have no ambition i literally cant imagine a future for myself, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. There's nothing out there for me, it's all stressful, noisy, meaningless. I always come home wanting ctb as soon as possible. I don't even feel pain anymore, just emptiness

View attachment 86985





View attachment 86984

Yeah no kidding! On the weekend I usually start off feeling okay after spending time outside, but the more people I see the more I just want to off it because it's like a reflection of seeing how fucked up I am.

 

[Crazy4u]

I try to avoid going outside as much as possible. I don't have desire or energy to do anything. When I go outside, I think about ctb. Nothing else matters