Discussion When did you start using your preferred pronouns?

[GIGN.Officiel]

Since we have a sizable trans community, when did you all start using your preferred pronouns?

Personally, I don't feel right using mine anywhere but online because I haven't started HRT and it feels weird to have someone call me something I can't see yet in the mirror. How about you all?

 

[flimsythrowaway234]

I'm in the exact same situation as you. But even if I wasn't going to CTB before transitioning, I probably wouldn't tell anybody. It seems kind of funny to try to control the way others speak about me, doesn't it? If someday I were to pass they'd use the right ones automatically, but before then, they're likely calling me slurs behind my back (if not to my face) and I'm asking them to respect what pronouns I want them to call me. At least I'd know who actually see me as what gender.

 

[renold]

Since we have a sizable trans community, when did you all start using your preferred pronouns?

Personally, I don't feel right using mine anywhere but online because I haven't started HRT and it feels weird to have someone call me something I can't see yet in the mirror. How about you all?

16 to my friends and 18 for my family been on T for 3 years now too. It helps so much but def not enough to keep me here lol waiting in a limbo phase before i ctb for my family. Coming out was the best thing for me and helped so much honestly I'd try it u can always kys if it fails that was my plan lol too bad my stupid families good people who adjusted and after a year really started their process of acceptance

 

[GIGN.Officiel]

u can always kys if it fails

I'm sorry I laughed a little very blunt but very true

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm not trans, but I'll relate being trans-adjacent as an experience I didn't know fully how to handle.

During COVID lock-down I happened to know someone who decided to transition. In one sense, this made her transition easier because it was happening out of the view of others and treatments and choices she made were able to happen according to her timeline and she was able to get comfortable without having to advertise to everyone what she was doing.

Even though I knew her pre-transition, it was surprisingly easy to me to adopt the new pronouns around her. Her parents struggled a bit, as in they were better using her correct pronouns with her, but less so when talking to me and she was not around. That made it awkward because I wanted to honor her correctly.

Meanwhile, back at work post the end of the lock-down... some of us were back at work sooner... and some people talking about her were not as public with using her new name or pronouns. Again, this was awkward for me because I knew she had not in fact gone to HR at work and fully asked them to embrace her transition... so I didn't know how to handle those interactions with people she had not told of her transition but who knew of her pre-transition. Was I being respectful of her NOT telling them yet and using her old pronouns? OR was I being disrespectful by dead-naming when she wasn't around?

Eventually she fully transitioned across the board with new driver license and informing her job and everything so I didn't have to dodge those bullets. Mind you, I know she had it rougher than I did... so I'm not saying anything about that... I'm just communicating that depending on how someone handles their transition, it can be easier or more difficult for others around them to honor them if they truly mean to be doing so.

If that makes sense.

 

[i like apple juice!]

i'm really similar to you, i'm still really deep in the closet and never started physically transitioning so i haven't told anyone irl about it. i would feel like i'm forcing something into their mouth since i haven't made any kind of effort. only like two people that know me strictly from online know my real pronouns/identity and it works because they've never seen me in the flesh. i do have some friends i know in a mix of online/offline (mostly online) and i haven't told any of them. unfortunately it's kind of a running joke to use my birth name (to them it's my real name) right now as opposed to my online alias and i die a little inside whenever it happens. it's easier to deal with irl since i always feel like i'm playing a character anyways, but when my friends (unknowingly) use the wrong pronouns or my birth name on me it's so much different. i don't resent them for it, i know they don't know the truth.

i'm not going to try to transition before i ctb, so it will most likely always be like this.

 

[Forveleth]

I have been using my pronouns since birth but that is because I base then on biology. Even though I wish I had been born male, I have two X chromosomes so I roll with she/her. However, I also do not care about gender identity so if someone asks me what my pronouns are I leave it up to them. I started doing the latter in my mid 30s

 

[disabledaccount0452]

Started my transition during elementary and middle school. Always got along well with other girls, and slowly over time, I could identify myself more with the girls than the boys, till slowly my friends decided I am one of the girls now. They jokingly used female pronouns for me, which I really didn't mind, and after a while, it stopped being a joke and turned into a fact. Guess they realised even before I did who I really am, and I am very thankful for them.

Afterwards, coming out to family wasn't a nice, smooth transition at all and it's still an ongoing fight to get them to truly accept it.
T-Blockers started unofficially at around 15y/o. Official HRT started once i was legally an adult. Surgeries way after HRT start.

 

[pharma]

Still haven't. I only have two friends that I'm out to. And I stopped talking to one of the, because I had myself too much. Oh well. Guess I will become another statistic. Don't bury me in a drsss etc

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Still haven't started using them in day to day life.

Can you tell your avatar to get me a second tea from 294 while they're at it?

 

[GIGN.Officiel]

Still haven't started using them in day to day life.

Can you tell your avatar to get me a second tea from 294 while they're at it?

Uhhhh they limited employee access for..... reasons......

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Uhhhh they limited employee access for..... reasons......

:(

:(
convinces you to tell them to let me use it (I will NOT ask for N, do not worry about it)

 

[woodlandcreature]

around like age 14. no one irl listens/gives a shit though lmfao.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

15. I backslid. I let everything go over time and I hate myself for it.