I fear suffering way more for way longer in the future, I find it terrifying how a human can exist for so long with no limit as to how much they can be tortured just to die in agony from old age.
To me existence truly is an abomination that just causes harm and suffering and I'd just never wish for the dreadful, futile burden of existence, to me existence really is the most terrible tragic mistake and for me only non-existence is positive. I just want to never suffer again with this existence finally all forgotten about, for me existence itself is the true problem and I just wish I never suffered in this torturous existence of suffering all for the sake of it more than anything, as long as I exist I'll only hope to be gone and I'll only be at peace once I'm unconscious for all eternity, I always find it so dreadful and painful to suffer in this existence.