back in the days my biggest fear was ending up alone, without kids, without self-fulfillment and so on. or dementia.
today, i think its going through so much isolation, grief and self-destruction that i end up being not only mentally ill but completely insane and not knowing myself anymore, thats what happened to my older brother, and its not easy to see that.
ending up as a vegetable after an failed attempt, horrible as well of course.
and about that "that death is not the end"... hm, not sure. i mean right now i want it to be the end-end, but if i respawn somehow... maybe ill give it a try, i just hope i wont remember my sufferings.