What's holding me back...

[TydalWave]

This is my first thread... So, hi.

The thought of ending my suffering once and for all is as cathartic as it gets.

What's holding me back isn't the fear of pain, nor the fear of death; but more-so the guilt that I feel every time I think about the impact that this decision could have on other people.

I am not saying people wouldn't move on eventually. And I know that it is impossible to even attempt to determine what the net suffering would be if I go through versus if I continue; but, if my decision is to ultimately be made off the assumption that my suffering will continue because it has and always has existed, then shouldn't I also be taking into account what the assumed suffering would be on others in my circle? After all, we never know for sure what the future holds for us or anyone.

I am curious if anyone here also thinks about this, and if there are any answers to this at all or if most people who follow through inevitably have to tune out these fears for their best interest or not care in the first place...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

or if most people who follow through inevitably have to tune out these fears for their best interest or not care in the first place...

This. Suicide is a selfish act and it needs to be. It's supposed to be. When the pain of continuing on is of greater concern than what that person's suicide might cause to others, then the point of rock bottom has been reached. We hurt people while we're alive. We hurt people when we die, assuming we have anyone to hurt. Some of us don't.

 

[foreverfalling]

Yes, I'm still here because there are people I care about holding me back. Unfortunately I am human, I have humanity, so I can't just not give a fuck about these people. It's also started to make me feel I shouldn't make any more new relationships with people, for fear of more `baggage` or gate keepers to my life. When they're gone my path will perhaps be much clearer.

 

[FuneralCry]

If I was to die soon then the way that my death would affect others would be none of my concern, as I simply wouldn't be there at this point. One needs a consciousness to be able to feel anything. Also, the way that I see it eventually we will all die and be forgotten about someday, it's inevitable. All suffering is temporary after all and our lives are very insignificant. Grief and loss are a part of life and our only true purpose as humans is to die.

 

[ojinzo]

This. Suicide is a selfish act and it needs to be. It's supposed to be. When the pain of continuing on is of greater concern than what that person's suicide might cause to others, then the point of rock bottom has been reached. We hurt people while we're alive. We hurt people when we die, assuming we have anyone to hurt. Some of us don't.

This was beautifully said. Honestly. To add, people hurt us as well. Most of those who pretend to give a shit about me are people who constantly hurt me, whether it be overly or subtly. My attitude is what can you do to take my suffering away?! Not a got damn thing ! You just want me to stick around like some toy for your pleasure. IDGAF about what anyone in my life will think when I'm gone. However, I do sympathize for those who feel tethered to this world because of other humans. Must be tough

 

[theboy]

the pain of leaving our loved ones is inevitable

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I do sympathize for those who feel tethered to this world because of other humans. Must be tough

I agree completely. Doubt they realize it.