What would you do?

[urgent]

What would you do if you're older and ended up with terrible quality of life after being told there's nothing else to do. You are in unbearable pain, severely bad health. You didn't prepare an exit even though you have always said you didn't want to live if you ended up like this. Now you have to worry more about how you can survive financially too. Medical care can leave you homeless in the US. You can't enjoy anything. Haven't smiled or gone out for years except the hospital. Suffering long agonizing day in pain praying to die in your sleep for years. Don't want anyone to see you or remember you like this after working so hard for years to be a good respected compassionate friend and family member. I've isolated. I was a caretaker to both my parents who suffered and died an empty shell of themselves even with love and good Medical care. I don't want to be remembered that way.I don't deserve this torture and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I needm to find someone to help me exit. I don't have anyone to do it. How would you find someone? What way is most likely to work? How can you find a method when you don't live alone or have that much privacy? Is it even possible to hope to find someone who will provide a way or pick you up to go do it together so you won't be found with fent, N,SN? Is it totally a ridiculous fantasy to hope for help? Isn't there any chance I can find a way today? How do I manage to get through another day of being in unbearable pain without being able to do anything to distract from the frantic need to end the pain. Knowing I'm losing abilities and won't be able to swallow or walk

 

[Shiitake]

Jesus (im not a christian) this must be terrible, you're incredibly strong to have gone this far, i dont really know what to say but i believe answering may do some good.
i hope you find your peace.

 

[unluckysadness]

Sorry to hear you're suffering so much We're on the same boat unfortunately.

 

[urgent]

Jesus (im not a christian) this must be terrible, you're incredibly strong to have gone this far, i dont really know what to say but i believe answering may do some good.
i hope you find your peace.

Thank you so much. I have had to be for various reasons for others as well as myself.

 

[Leyna]

do you qualify for MAID at all?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so horrific to me how we exist in this world where there is all this dreadful, terrible cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured yet humans make it illegal to cease existing painlessly with no more pain and no more suffering. It's truly so criminal to me how humans are forced to be tortured so unbearably in this existence against their wishes, it's a terrible, horrific crime how Nembutal is made illegal, I hope you find freedom from suffering, this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what truly does feel like a prison to me.

 

[urgent]

do you qualify for MAID at all?

Not available in my state yet. One state over it is ironically but I can't travel, you must have residency and no doctor will even evaluate here. When I became disabled I was forced to pay for Medicare which meant I lost my doctors.I have to wait for approval to see a doctor or get any test or med. It's hard to find a doctor who accepts it and that listens or reads my history. The last few years were hell to get nerve blocks, proper meds, epidurals. I had to get a cancerous tumor removed. It was hell to approve doctor, MRI,biopsy, anesthesia, surgery, left hospital with drainage tube I couldn't even reach to empty. Removed by doctor days later by meeting him on a hospital floor and him pulling it out in the tiny dirty patient area for dietary. I have to pay 20% of what is covered and all if I have to have something that's not. The surgery put me in such detb.I survived for 30 years of working to have insurance and taking care of myself. Now I just suffer in pain. Trump cut Medicare so much especially if you need care at home. If you can't afford to go to another country or can't travel you suffer. If I had the money and support I could have ended it in a dignified peaceful way. I'm stuck in a hellish nightmare. I pray for mercy but there is little hope for a hero.I grew up with parents who survived the depression and a father forced into war. People survived by being strong and helping each other. There were heroes. The world I'm in now is dangerous, a struggle to afford basic needs. Not to many help each other. So many are struggling to live. Some to die. They are afraid to help, they can't, they record for social media. They are desensitized today. We are suffering because of contaminated food, water, air. Kids are put on meds before their brains develop. Greed has destroyed so much of my country. I don't know how anyone is healthy with so much against them in the US today. Especially New York. Sad.

 

[Bishop]

I hope you find freedom from the suffering. We are all sadly in so much pain. May you find peace.

 

[urgent]

It's just so horrific to me how we exist in this world where there is all this dreadful, terrible cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured yet humans make it illegal to cease existing painlessly with no more pain and no more suffering. It's truly so criminal to me how humans are forced to be tortured so unbearably in this existence against their wishes, it's a terrible, horrific crime how Nembutal is made illegal, I hope you find freedom from suffering, this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what truly does feel like a prison to me.

Too bad the fear to protest today exists for many. Laws only change when activists exist, protests and people refusing to obey the law is the only time we see change. If we all accept it ,it will never change. It is our body that is suffering we deserve the right to stop the pain no matter where we live or how much money we have. I have seen so many people have a peaceful death before the suffering really began. It's inhumane that we have to suffer when there are painless legal dignified deaths because of money or location. I wish more people would bring N in. It's not true you can't get it through or you can't make money. It's very cheap and there are many customers. Look at all the drugs or people in postions willing to be involved. I'm sure it's out there. I just don't know anyone I can trust. I just need one person, doctor, veterinarian, anyone with access to N, F,SN or a gas to end my suffering. It makes me so angry how things happen. I used to teach and loved helping kids. I would do anything to protect them and make them feel safe, happy, important. After I was caretaker to several family members that were elderly and I had health problems myself I began caring for the elderly, then the very sick elderly. I could make them smile, feel safe and loved. They appreciated me but it was so important that I protect them from abuse and make them feel appreciated, loved, had dignity. I loved hearing about their history. I truly loved giving them comfort, finding out their interests and making food, reading books or showing them on the laptop things that interest them. I miss that. I miss me. I have nothing but pain fear, sadness ,loss of dignity, enjoyment, even nutrition is a painful useless struggle I'm forced to bare.I no longer believe in karma or God wants us to suffer on hell. He has given us ways to exit. It's others who deny us. I hope some people will stand up for the right to die with dignity painlessly in full force. To bring back methods we can do ourselves probably won't happen but to at least get MAiD available everywhere that everyone can afford and have evaluaters accessible for a broader range of conditions. I wish I had been aware and been able to promote the cause sooner. I had relatives who wouldn't have had to suffer. Please make sure you know about end of life options for yourself and loved ones. There are many organizations to help in many ways to make sure your wishes are followed if you make plans and fill out forms. I haven't filled out a DNR yet. If they do it to me they would Crack many bones.

 

[urgent]

I hope you find freedom from the suffering. We are all sadly in so much pain. May you find peace.

Thank you so much. I hope the same for you.