What Do I Want From Life

[Noctis]

My therapist asked my what my goals in life were. I had no answer, because I've been going one day at a time for my entire life. The thought of knowing I'm probably going to be here for another thirty years, and planning for what I want to do in that time... it's exhausting.

For people like me, it's a stupid question. It's like asking someone what their dream job is when the only correct answer is "I don't dream of labor. I don't dream about living in a place where I have to trade my time and body in order to buy food and housing. I dream of being in a place where I'm free from all that bullshit."

When I was 16, I had a shitty job at the movie theater. It was very boring, and I spent most of my day standing there with a plastic smile on my face, waiting for customers to approach me. If you had asked me at any point during any of my shifts what I wanted from that job, my answer would be "I want to leave now. Assuming I can't, I want everyone to leave me alone until I can leave."

That's what I want from life. I want to leave. But since I'm too much of a coward to do it myself, I just want everyone to leave me alone while I try to find a way to distract myself from the pain and misery of my life while I count down the days until I can. I don't want anything from life.

I just don't want life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I want nothing to do with life as well. Life just seems to be endless misery and suffering all for the sake of it. I do not see any point to any of this, I hate the fact that I am still alive when I could be peacefully not existing. I hope that you find freedom from pain.

 

[8evergo]

exit

 

[Againstthewind]

I hear ya, its a way for them to try and break the barrier and establish a rapport with you, 'how are you feeling?', 'what are your goals?', 'what are you doing for the rest of the day?' oh piss off.
All though I will say this, even if you are in a dead end job, sometimes you never know what opportunity comes around the corner, you could be out of there in a flash if something else more interesting comes around, at least you have experienced how to treat people, and what not to do (when you deal with dickhead customers).

 

[fizi22]

I kind of feel the same way sometimes

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

At this point I feel the same way… I've screwed so many things up there's no way I can get back to even something manageable… I am facing ruin from here on out

 

[GoodMourning]

There are all kinds of things I want from life. What makes me want to commit suicide is knowing I will never have them no matter how hard I try.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

If you had asked me at any point during any of my shifts what I wanted from that job, my answer would be "I want to leave now. Assuming I can't, I want everyone to leave me alone until I can leave."

That's what I want from life. I want to leave.

Nice analogy.

 

[toasterbath]

same i feel like i have no chance of turning things around and i have to find a way out before things get worse

 

[Eternally Dottie]

Nice analogy.

I agree