What are you saying in your suicide note to help your parents handle your death?

[1up]

I'm hoping to help my parents heal from my death with my note, what should I include in it?


Thank you

 

[MeltedJello]

In my note I told them that: it wasn't their fault, not to blame themselves or others and that it was my own decision. I also told them that I loved them and thanked them for taking care of me.

I think bringing up nice memories you've had with them would help. They're your parents so I'm sure you are the only one who can find the best words to help them heal from your note. Goodluck.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I think it's good to clearly explain your reality and why it is not tolerable.

 

[yuuta_sun]

I'd tell them to forget about me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope for my note to act as closure. I am writing a note to avoid them being left with unanswered questions. It will tell them why I have decided to do this and I will tell them I am at peace and I am no longer suffering. I will also say there is nothing you could have done.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I'm not going to say I am doing it. It will be mostly about how shitty things are etc. I don't trust delayed email services and I don't want them contacting the cops and finding me too early.

 

[deleted]

I will say I wait for them in hell

 

[BobMorane]

I will thank them for providing me for an exceptional quality of life, for good genetics and an unconventional upbringing who made me who I am. I'll tell them that I was never prouder of the person I was before the illness striked. That its not their fault, I fucked it up but want peace as I won't tolerate to live in the shadow of who I was for the rest of my life.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Download the Five Last Acts book in the resources thread, there's a great chapter on this. The now password-protected asher site also had an entire section on writing a good note, I haven't been able to find an archive of it yet, but it might be somewhere on here.

Remember that a note is not for you, it's for the living, just as funerals are. Focus on the good times you had with them. Don't blame them, don't insinuate that there was a deficiency or nonaction on their part that caused you to make this decision. It's important to not make promises or requests aside from factual ones related to your final affairs. Saying something like "please always be happy, don't be like me, please don't miss me" can cause a lot of guilt and make them regretful later in their lives when they're having a hard time.

Thank them, remind them you had an illness, this was a logical decision you made and they had no influence on it. Whether that's true or not doesn't matter, since the note is for *their* closure and not yours.

It's also helpful to have all your final affairs ready, so leave your passwords, insurance paperwork, bank info, etc ... so that hey don't have to relive losing you by doing it all themselves, and they can focus on grieving. Leave your desired funeral arrangements but try to be vague. Maybe you want no funeral and to be flushed down the toilet, but that may be very disrespectful to your family who may want to grieve with their loved ones (emphasis on their, maybe you have no friends/close family but their loved ones may want to come to support them). Leave basic info, any religious/other required rites if you have them, and maybe some money if you can.

There's nothing you can do now to heal them from that. But you can reduce their suffering and give them more time to grieve by being prepared and considerate.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

well my family knows its coming and have accepted it but i basically said that they did their best, i am the fuckup, i love them, please take good care of my dogs, sorry for causing so much trouble for them... i originally wasn't going to leave a note but i ended up writing a "book" (2 notebooks) about life and why i am so messed up plus some random funny life stories to lighten it up a little and i ended up writing my note on the back cover. just in case there was anything they didn't already know... i pretty much wrote my whole life story. drug addiction, mental health, school years, random things about myself i haven't told people e.t.c. kinda narcissistic thing to do but i wanted to get everything out for closure purposes.

 

[Snake of Eden]

there isnt anything helpful that I could say which could lessen the blow of my ctb. I am stuck because I feel obligated not to cause my family the type of grief that comes with a suicided son. My only hope is to wait for a death by accident or natural causes to sweep off my existence

 

[gayscal3xo]

I plan to lie to them and reassure them it's not their fault, I don't want them to feel horrible about my death even if they have a hand in it.

 

[demuic]

In my note I told them that: it wasn't their fault, not to blame themselves or others and that it was my own decision. I also told them that I loved them and thanked them for taking care of me.

I think bringing up nice memories you've had with them would help. They're your parents so I'm sure you are the only one who can find the best words to help them heal from your note. Goodluck.

Bringing up nice memories is something I hadn't thought of before. I think I might do that if I can think of any.

 

[Pure]

Hmmmm when I last wrote a note, I focused on how much I was suffering from a genetic predisposition to being a fuck up so in a way to not place blame on them

 

[ContinuousJump]

I thank them for the good times, that I truly did appreciate those; and ask that my suicide not diminish those good memories.

That there's nothing anyone could have done to have prevented it.

That ending my life is what I truly want; I feel I have good reasons to do so; I did genuinely try to get better, but enough is enough; and that I've thought about it for a very long time so it was well considered, not impulsive.

That I forgive everyone for everything, and I also say that although nothing specifically needing my forgiveness was coming to mind for me, which was true; and I ask them to forgive me, whenever they feel ready to.

That I wish them well and I ask them to wish me well, whenever they feel ready to.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Hope you won't mind me returning the gift, but it's really not my thing.

 

[freeguy21]

I hate them..I don't wanna help them

 

[damienralph]

I will say I wait for them in hell

Same

 

[NaughtyGirl]

In my letter I assure them that it's not their or anyone else's fault because free will is just an illusion. I also explain that death is an illusion too and I'm still there, somewhere so they may as well think of it like I simply moved out.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't know if it's a good idea to follow my example but my suicide note so far focuses on trying to make the reader understand exactly why I need to be removed from the realm of the living. Basically I try my best to convince whoever is reading that they're stupid for even caring about me by insulting them over and over again. I'm doing my best to try to get across the fact that my worldview is genuinely warped beyond redemption and that anyone who supports me is supporting the worst of humanity.

 

[forgotten15]

I wrote my suicide note a few days ago. Just told them it's no one's fault i did this and no one could have saved me. I also wrote they shouldn't be sad because i found my peace and my place was not here.

To be honest, I would have actually wanted to write to my mother about how much she hurt me and what trauma she caused me, but i came to the conclusion it's pointless so i just kept it simple, not burden anyone with anything. Just tried to assure them it's not their fault. Plus I don't even have the energy to write too many details.

 

[user_name_here]

When i first attempted i had left them both heartfelt notes.

More recently however, i've come to learn they have a very different view of me than I had thought. It's an eye opener when they think the absolute worst of you. I should thank them for the extra motivation though.
I'm not leaving notes this time. I just want to leave.