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DiscussionWhat are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.
Thread starterRose Mirren
Start date
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I feel so relieved… I moved out of my parents' house; that terrible environment, and moved in with my friend. It's so much more quiet here. It's so much more peaceful. This is the best thing to happen to me in three years~
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not-2-b-the-answer, Crash_Bash_Dash, fleetingnight and 2 others
I feel hungry, sad and lonely. Haven't eaten since yesterday and it was only a single meal. Too tired to do anything about it. I do not wish to leave the comfort of my bed because there's nothing worth my time.
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Seaghost, not-2-b-the-answer, Bad Karma and 4 others
Just when I thought things were going pretty decent at least, then two awful things happened and I am just in full of dread, frustration and anger because of those two things . I might be in trouble because of those two things and I feel anxious because of that. I don't feel suicidal that much though. Is it because of my medication then which I've been taking regularly every day for few months? I don't know, though I fucking hate those substances they force me to take and that makes me sick because of what they'll do in the long run. I don't know... I just feel quite bad and hopeless I guess in the end. Sigh...
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Seaghost, not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and 1 other person
like the calm before a storm no ones predicting. everything has been soft and golden lately, too soft, too golden. i think its starting to rot at the edges. i keep waiting for the sky to split open, for something to shatter. its been quiet for too long and the quiets starting to scream at me. i feel like i need to break something just to prove i still can.
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darksouls, Seaghost, not-2-b-the-answer and 2 others
like the calm before a storm no ones predicting. everything has been soft and golden lately, too soft, too golden. i think its starting to rot at the edges. i keep waiting for the sky to split open, for something to shatter. its been quiet for too long and the quiets starting to scream at me. i feel like i need to break something just to prove i still can.
I'm actually going to crash the fuck out, one of the people who made my life an active, living hell last year has decided to show up in one of the main communities I joined and have made friends in. I'm actually going to lose my fucking mind. I cut and burn bridges and ruin my life, and none of these people can leave me alone.
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EternalShore, Seaghost, not-2-b-the-answer and 2 others
Ever since I moved out of my parents' house a few days ago, I've been in a pretty good mood. But, all of a sudden, this wave of anxiety just hit me. I don't know why. I'm in a safe and quiet environment; I should feel okay... I feel really shitty and I hope this feeling goes away soon...
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Seaghost, not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and 1 other person
I'm so good at manipulating data for my school assignment... It's kinda insane XD. I've been late for 2 years. I need to do everything to survive and graduate. Wish me luck
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Seaghost, not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
I wish I was a hot rich dude so that I could have a whimsical crash out and live life on absurdist-mode and have hot women invite me into their homes at night.
I just want to live in a world where things are nice and people are nice and all I have is this shitty dump. I just want to be happy for more than 5 seconds before going into a week long numbness. I just want to be held and never let go. I just want happy, Where is happy.
I just want too much. I just want a life worth living. I just want to truly give up so I don't have to worry about wanting things anymore.
It just feels like nothing matters anymore. The compliments, the happiness, no matter how genuine, it's just empty words. Everything is just empty, my life, my games, my mind, my past, my present, my future. No matter how much I stuff, it is never enough.
I'm scared that life is unlivable, like all life for people not even just mine... There's so much suffering in the world and so many evil systems perpetuating that suffering. On a smaller scale I feel helpless in life, I blame myself mostly but I think I was failed in a lot of ways. Though I do think I did deserve it. I hate that I can't sleep right now I hate that I have no hobbies I hate that I can't go outside in any meaningful way. I hate the sounds my cat is making next to me because shes cleaning her feet. I hate the smell and the work I have to do and that this is my life and I can't escape it without completely throwing it away. I hate myself so much and the reason why are endless.
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CTB Dream, Seaghost and not-2-b-the-answer
I want to get stoned
Sometimes I just want to let loose and act like a degenerate. But, I don't, because I don't want certain people to think less of me
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not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and Seaghost
Almost accidentally killed myself due to smoke inhalation (because of putting incense on a cardboard box while I was high off Ambien). Wish I had though, would've made things easier.
I feel a bit broken but I want to get better. I want the pain to end and atp suicide is a no go. Ironic that I'm saying this on the suicide site but it's what I'm feeling right now. I want to be more consistent. I wish I wasn't a burden or an embarrassment so I'm gonna do stuff to fix that. If I can't get a job I'll go on disability, I'll try to pickup a hobby. Be more social. Baby steps. Realistic goals. I don't want to be this animal anymore.
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CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and Seaghost
This is going to the be longest most painful fucking life I could have ever imagined.
Sister and her husband may divorce bc of me. Just the next step of this complete downward spiral.
Mom has not come back home yet bc she probably doesn't want to deal with me.
After the finals tonight I have nothing to watch at all and no reason to get up.
I am hopeless. I do not want to get better, I just want an end. And I don't sleep AT ALL without meds.
I need like 100k in medical procedures and I've got 25k left and no resume. No one to talk to. Every Reddit "what's a sign someone is a bad person" or fb "what have you the ick" is something that speaks directly to me.
This life is absolute agonym I'm not good at any of it and I'm bringing everyone else down.
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NoPoint2Life, CTB Dream, BlueLock and 3 others
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.
I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
I'm feeling a weird mix of denial and acceptance as part of my brain is fixed on making final prep, one part is grieving, and one part is just really happy to get to get ice cream today. I'm thinking also about the phrase catch the bus and it's become sort of a visual that I have all the time of my bus coming to get me with a set ticket time
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not-2-b-the-answer, fleetingnight and CTB Dream
I don't know how to talk about sadness or emotions at all anymore. I feel like a bad person, but me and my friends basically avoid the subject. I just don't know what to say. My true opinion is "it will never get better and there's no hope." Most people don't react to that opinion well. And maybe it sounds weird coming from me, but I don't want to encourage them to kill themselves. But I'm not good at telling convincing lies, either. I don't know what to do about it. This is the only place I feel like I can be honest about how I feel. I still feel like a burden sometimes, but that feeling is muted enough here that I can tolerate it. Vent threads are made for venting, so I can convince myself to speak. Anywhere else, I feel like I'm being selfish and dragging everyone down. Still, I wish I knew how to talk to my friends about their feelings at least. Hopefully, they can all find a better person to talk to, at least.
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not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and Unbearable Mr. Bear
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