Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Griever]

I want to fall asleep and never wake up again

 

[Promised Heaven]

I've been rapidly switching between "I have a plan to die very soon" and "I have a plan to recover" about ten times a day at this point, I'm barely even enjoying life in the meantime.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I feel trapped in my own home.

 

[The Unanswered Q]

Been awake for only five hours, did a really simple assessment and nothing else, already so tired can barely keep eyes open. How is it possible to work eight hours a day when even the slightest activity is exhausting?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Well, it seems as though I'm starting to transition back to how I was before. I've been feeling miserable lately and I'm starting to go back to having urges to attempt again. I can't though, thanks to all of this shit going on around me. I can't even cut anymore because my mom knows about my SH. My urges to cut again have only been intensifying as of late and now the one thing that might give some relief isn't an option anymore. I just want this to all be over.

 

[limpimitation]

Tired

 

[0bsolete]

I'm meant to be returning home tomorrow after a break away but I don't want to go back.

I'm contemplating an attempt in the morning, on the way home in remote woodland.

I feel so alone.

 

[wham311]

You can be done with life but that doesn't mean is done with you.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So effing tired...
I wanna go back to bed so bad...
I never want to wake up...
Life is nothing but misery...
This needs to end....

 

[AnEpilogue]

sick sick sick of everything, sick of being a little bird in a cage, but being completely unwilling to turn the key

 

[SVEN]

Well, it seems as though I'm starting to transition back to how I was before. I've been feeling miserable lately and I'm starting to go back to having urges to attempt again. I can't though, thanks to all of this shit going on around me. I can't even cut anymore because my mom knows about my SH. My urges to cut again have only been intensifying as of late and now the one thing that might give some relief isn't an option anymore. I just want this to all be over.

I'm very sorry circumstances have deteriorated so much, so fast, unmet wee Jester friend. You've given me some happy moments and I regret I'm unable to think of anything to say or post which could assist you get through this.
Sven.

 

[ssUser34]

I dont want to live. My heart hurts when I think of my ex being with someone new. Im just in a state of mental torment.

 

[Nadienobody]

I feel stupid. I shouldn't trust people online so easily. Everything I'm trying feels useless, it only makes me feel worse. I've always been alone, and I always will be.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel drunk.

 

[iw2begone]

guilt that I made someone else cry over me as if I didn't learn my lesson from the times before

I feel stupid for not realising that, but I also feel a bit of hope as the interaction spurred some motivation inside of me to try and get better, yet I'm back here again so who knows

 

[sakakap]

i feel wronged & betrayed

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I feel like ripping my skin off and pulling out my hair. I HATE THIS I HATE THID I HATE THIS

I GUCKING HATE BEING ALIVE

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Tormented physically and emotionally, wishing it would just end.

 

[Bad Ending]

Mental Exhaustion

 

[EvisceratedJester]

For some reason, my mood started to go down again and it led me to search around my room to see if I had any of the razor blades from last year left. I threw most of them away, but I was able to find one I forgot to throw out and I used it to cut myself. I only gave myself three cuts and it felt good, especially since I was able to cut deeper compared to when I used the pencil sharpener blade, but it also made me feel like crap afterwards and now I'm worried about one of the cuts potentially leaving a hypertrophic scar. I feel like crap right now and I hate it. I hate that I always end up going back to feeling this way. I hate myself so much and I wish I was dead.

 

[Apticalt]

I feel like I'm imprisoned in the terrible physical pain I'm experiencing right now, and I often fantasize about taking matters into my own hands and ctbing.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I feel so awful right now that I want to not bother with going to my appointment with the counsellor but I have to since I will have to pay out of pocket if I miss it. Maybe it's for the best that I'm basically forced to see them, idk. I want to kill myself so badly right now. I want to SH but I can't at the moment. I'm also worried about being forced into being hospitalized because I SHed yesterday. A part of me wants to lie about it if the question gets brought up, but another part of me wants to try and be honest with them. I hate this so much.

 

[BlendedHeart]

I had a couple of weeks of calmness, without anxiety or ruminating. It's coming back. Depression is trying to come back in full force. I have to let go. I have to let go.

 

[dieingasap]

Why am i even alive ?

 

[Seaghost]

I am an open wound. Thankfully no one can see it but I feel it. I feel it so much, so extreme but I stay alive. Sadly mental wounds don't kill like physical wounds...it "just" feels like this.

 

[SadLoser]

I feel that I am extremely socially inept and because of this I mess up any good thing that comes my way. Not sure if this is because i'm naturally awkward and shy or because i'm dumb. Probably both. I feel like there is nothing that truly interests me. I'm totally lame and the older I get, the less of a chance I have at ever making something of my life.

 

[Seaghost]

I'm feeling like...don't know...existing at the outer worlds? My life on this planet should end soon. I hope someon to come and catch me up for another better universe or something.
I'm sad. I shouldn't exist anymore. I'm searching for help but not here anymore...want to pass away. With reassuring silence.
Need to be fixed but thats not possible at earth.
I'm sorry.

 

[Soulless_Death]

Depressed

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I feel like my mood has been yo-yo-ing a lot as of late. I usually find myself going from feeling okay-ish to feeling awful and wanting to throw myself in front of traffic throughout the day. Sometimes it gets to a point where I end up SHing. I'm so tired. My mom is aware of the fact that my mental health is declining and has so far been pretty understanding about it, which I'm incredibly grateful for. I find myself wanting to indulge in my self-destructive tendencies again. I think about doing the shit I was doing last year, like sexting older men again (though I don't think I will ever find it in me to act on these thoughts because of my love for him). I really hate this. I don't like basically having to spend my time bouncing between feeling alright and feeling like this.

I don't get why, but I always end up entering this period where I feel alright and where I am able to manage my shit, only to then start to feel my mental health decline. It's so tiring. I feel like each time it declines I always end up hitting a new low and I already felt like I hit a pretty bad new low before and now I'm scared about what could happen if I end up hitting a new low this time.

I have to see the counsellor today and I am still waiting to get a call about the psychiatrist. I want to cut myself so badly right now but I can't because I'm in class. Maybe I'll do it afterwards, idk...

 

[SVEN]

Unexpectedly optimistic because for some reason my crippling sciatica has eased off slightly.