Went to the hotel for ctb.

[zoobamboo]

Two days ago, I went to a hotel with a good view to eat SN. I wanted to do a ctb in a place with a good view. I made all the sn plans and checked in at the hotel, but the view was so beautiful that I lost my mind to ctb. I only stayed in the hotel for 2 hours and went back home. But regret it.
I should have eaten then.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

It's the biggest decision of our "lives". The biggest, most impactful decision we will ever make but not be around to experience. I know it's frustrating but I bet you most people have sat on the edge and not done it. It's to be expected honestly.

 

[Chiisai]

Two days ago, I went to a hotel with a good view to eat SN. I wanted to do a ctb in a place with a good view. I made all the sn plans and checked in at the hotel, but the view was so beautiful that I lost my mind to ctb. I only stayed in the hotel for 2 hours and went back home. But regret it.
I should have eaten then.

I can relate. I was about to CTB too. Halfway to my destination, my bike was leaking coolant and I had to fix it. Fixing it took my mind off CTBing. I kinda regret not doing the regular checkups on my bike before heading out.

 

[juraviel]

are you really suicidal if a nice landscape is enough to change your mind..

 

[Chiisai]

Maybe the scenery was associated with being free and the thought of being free was overwhelming for OP that they were taking in the moment and processing the feeling. People process extreme feelings differently. Who knows, maybe it gave OP another look at life.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

are you really suicidal if a nice landscape is enough to change your mind..

Compared to a normal person, who would find researching, buying, keeping the perfect meds to poison oneself; then booking a hotel and bringing the meds with you shocking and horrifying, I'd say OP is most definitely suicidal. It's not black and white and we're complex creatures with a strong survival instinct. I find this a very odd comment from someone on this forum, as surely we all know the magnitude and complexities of this decision. Human nature makes us want to hold out for hope in any way we can get it.

 

[zoobamboo]

I thought my time was the last and I was sure I would do a ctb. So I spent the rest of the money and went to an expensive hotel, but I decided to postpone the ctb while sitting on the hotel bed and looking at the view. It's been less than two days since I decided to postpone, but I plan to do a ctb in a week.

 

[juraviel]

Compared to a normal person, who would find researching, buying, keeping the perfect meds to poison oneself; then booking a hotel and bringing the meds with you shocking and horrifying, I'd say OP is most definitely suicidal. It's not black and white and we're complex creatures with a strong survival instinct. I find this a very odd comment from someone on this forum, as surely we all know the magnitude and complexities of this decision. Human nature makes us want to hold out for hope in any way we can get it.

i said it because i simply do not understand that if you're the kind of person for which a little bit of sunshine is enough to shift their mood that drastically, there certainly are things you can do in your life which are gonna pull you out of that suicidal state, so why not do them.

 

[Chiisai]

I thought my time was the last and I was sure I would do a ctb. So I spent the rest of the money and went to an expensive hotel, but I decided to postpone the ctb while sitting on the hotel bed and looking at the view. It's been less than two days since I decided to postpone, but I plan to do a ctb in a week.

Its sad to see any members leave here but if it frees you from your pain, I wish you peace and happiness

i said it because i simply do not understand that if you're the kind of person for which a little bit of sunshine is enough to shift their mood that drastically, there certainly are things you can do in your life which are gonna pull you out of that suicidal state, so why not do them.

Just as the saying goes "one man's trash is another man's treasure", one small thing for us might mean a lot and hold sentimental value for OP. Different strokes for different folks. ;)

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be frustrating to make all those plans and not go through with it. Your feelings of regret are perfectly understandable. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[NormaJeane]

I went to a hotel to book a room this summer, but there was such a long queue to the front desk so I walked away. I think the home is the best place to die because there we have all our things.

 

[PrincessInWhite]

are you really suicidal if a nice landscape is enough to change your mind..

Yes? Survival instinct is real, it stops even people in horrible chronic physical pain. Your comment may not have been intended to be unhelpful but it really was invalidating

Compared to a normal person, who would find researching, buying, keeping the perfect meds to poison oneself; then booking a hotel and bringing the meds with you shocking and horrifying, I'd say OP is most definitely suicidal. It's not black and white and we're complex creatures with a strong survival instinct. I find this a very odd comment from someone on this forum, as surely we all know the magnitude and complexities of this decision. Human nature makes us want to hold out for hope in any way we can get it.

Well said

i said it because i simply do not understand that if you're the kind of person for which a little bit of sunshine is enough to shift their mood that drastically, there certainly are things you can do in your life which are gonna pull you out of that suicidal state, so why not do them.

Because some of us will have constant mood shifts and swings and it doesn't make our overall lives meaningful to us personally. We know the huge dip down is coming and we don't want the highs and lows anymore. You have no idea what anyone here has already done or tried

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

i said it because i simply do not understand that if you're the kind of person for which a little bit of sunshine is enough to shift their mood that drastically, there certainly are things you can do in your life which are gonna pull you out of that suicidal state, so why not do them.

As @Phia2021 already pointed out, you're viewpoint is quite simple. Even much more problematic than that, its condescending. To suggest that a suicidal person can't appreciate something beautiful that temporarily makes him change his mind sounds like black and white thinking.

Who are you to question anyone's suicidality or the things that affect his decision-making??

Either you are here to act like a critical God-like, perfect person; or you are here to push the person to their breaking point. None of your responses are helpful. In fact, I find your comments detrimental.

I love sunshine. In fact I'm enjoying some of the BEST sunshine now as I forge my path toward my CTB plans. Everyday I wish I could have one more day like the one I am currently having yet the other "50 things" that make me want to go are, and always will be in existence, despite that fact that the sun is shining on me this moment. But no I can't just solely sit in the sunshine, or even do so happily, for the next 50 years of my life.

You, nor anyone else who thinks like you, have a right to tell anyone that these two things are mutually exclusive.

If you can't offer anything helpful towards OP's viewpoint then maybe you should keep it stepping. Your comments are derailing his thread in addition to the affects mentioned above.

 

[Whale_bones]

i said it because i simply do not understand that if you're the kind of person for which a little bit of sunshine is enough to shift their mood that drastically, there certainly are things you can do in your life which are gonna pull you out of that suicidal state, so why not do them.

Their mood was shifted for that very short amount of time; that doesn't mean that a view, whose beauty can be recognized for that moment, can possibly combat the pain and suffering of life over years and decades more to come. If someone has come to a rational, planned decision to CTB, it is likely because they have long-term circumstances that are unbearable to live out the length of their natural life in. That doesn't mean they can't live a few more days or short time period, a period which is nothing compared to decades of unlimited suffering without the option of CTB. We should all have full control of when we choose to go.

 

[xLosthopex]

are you really suicidal if a nice landscape is enough to change your mind..

Are any of us *really* suicidal if we're all still alive ?

Seriously this logic is just ridiculous… shush

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

i said it because i simply do not understand that if you're the kind of person for which a little bit of sunshine is enough to shift their mood that drastically, there certainly are things you can do in your life which are gonna pull you out of that suicidal state, so why not do them.

I guess you have the cure all for everyone's problems! Maybe you should write a book on this. Its a fresh thought that no-one EVER considered!

*huge eye roll*

 

[juraviel]

I guess you have the cure all for everyone's problems! Maybe you should write a book on this. Its a fresh thought that no-one EVER considered!

*huge eye roll*

let me rephrase one more time.

a nice view - is a simple thing. very much so. if you, something this simple, this basic, is enough to shift your entire mood then it only stands to reason that only if your life was a little better - maybe you had someone close, or found a better job, or whatever. if your life improved, the desire to ctb would go away. i dont know anything about this person ok. this is just my impression.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

let me rephrase one more time.

a nice view - is a simple thing. very much so. if you, something this simple, this basic, is enough to shift your entire mood then it only stands to reason that only if your life was a little better - maybe you had someone close, or found a better job, or whatever. if your life improved, the desire to ctb would go away. i dont know anything about this person ok. this is just my impression.

You rephrasing implies that I didn't understand you. I assure you that is not the case. I understand you well.

In fact several people understand you clearly. The problem is not your verbiage its your viewpoint. And as several people, not 1 loner, have pointed out its problematic.

If you disagree then move-on. This isn't a problem of a subjective / objective viewpoint. The problem is that your statement implies that OP is wrong to feel the way he/she does and it invalidates him/her.

If you don't understand that invalidating ones feeling is one of the most hurtful things that contributes to ongoing mental problems then you really don't have a sense of what is supportive and as such I suggest you move on.


EDIT: P.S. And if your intent was to belittle by calling out "a nice view - is a simple thing." I'd counter and say your entire viewpoint "is a simple thing."

 

[RedEther]

Death is a permanent thing. We of course will prefer to experience happiness if he can. If you had the choice I would always say take the happiness even if temporary. CTB once its all gone since there's definitely no going back

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

a nice view - is a simple thing. very much so. if you, something this simple, this basic, is enough to shift your entire mood then it only stands to reason that only if your life was a little better - maybe you had someone close, or found a better job, or whatever.

Watch it, you're invalidating meeee!

 

[juraviel]

You rephrasing implies that I didn't understand you. I assure you that is not the case. I understand you well.

In fact several people understand you clearly. The problem is not your verbiage its your viewpoint. And as several people, not 1 loner, have pointed out its problematic.

If you disagree then move-on. This isn't a problem of a subjective / objective viewpoint. The problem is that your statement implies that OP is wrong to feel the way he/she does and it invalidates him/her.

If you don't understand that invalidating ones feeling is one of the most hurtful things that contributes to ongoing mental problems then you really don't have a sense of what is supportive and as such I suggest you move on.

well 3 other people liked my comment so perhaps i'm not the only one having a hard time wrapping my head around this. because guess what i don't know even have tiny moments of wonder like this, ever. if i did, i'd find a way to have more of them and more lasting, which over time i know makes a big difference in mine or any one elses mental health. but that's just my personal perspective. i did not mean to invalidate anyone, nor do i ever while posting here. if i was too blunt, then i apologize.

@GenesAndEnvironment i don't even know if you're being serious or not tbh

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

@GenesAndEnvironment i don't even know if you're being serious or not tbh

Me neither, man.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

well 3 other people liked my comment so perhaps i'm not the only one having a hard time wrapping my head around this. because guess what i don't know even have tiny moments of wonder like this, ever. if i did, i'd find a way to have more of them and more lasting, which over time i know would makes a big difference in mine or any one elses mental health. but that's just my personal perspective. i did not mean to invalidate anyone, nor do i ever while posting here. if i was too blunt, then i apologize.

@GenesAndEnvironment i don't even know if you're being serious or not tbh

it has another to do with likes idiot. 3 others made separate comments that I'm referring to. But of course you missed their comments because you don't read.

Maybe YOU come here for likes because you have nothing better to do in life. Or no, you come here to insult women because you are an INCEL who feels inferior about himself every time he looks in the mirror and has nothing better to do in life than find women he can insult.

I have better things to do with my life.


You are officially on ignore. Stay the fuck away from me. Don't comment on my fucking posts or I will report your ass. plain and simple!

 

[Chiisai]

Oh my. I believe this has gone out of hand. Everyone has the right of free speech and if ever it has become offensive, surely a well meant apology is also acceptable.

The person already apologized. I believe there's no need for back-handed comments and/or insults. No need to dehumanize lest we become the same thing that led us to our pains.

The world needs love. Some of us might not have felt it but no reason not to start here. :)

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Oh my. I believe this has gone out of hand. Everyone has the right of free speech and if ever it has become offensive, surely a well meant apology is also acceptable.

The person already apologized. I believe there's no need for back-handed comments and/or insults. No need to dehumanize lest we become the same thing that led us to our pains.

The world needs love. Some of us might not have felt it but no reason not to start here. :)

You sound like Naruto.

 

[Chiisai]

You sound like Naruto.

Maybe we could switch prof pics then. on a serious note, everyone has proven their point. So lets be on our way be it going to or distracting ourselves from CTB. ;)

 

[juraviel]

it has another to do with likes idiot. 3 others made separate comments that I'm referring to. But of course you missed their comments because you don't read.

Maybe YOU come here for likes because you have nothing better to do in life. Or no, you come here to insult women because you are an INCEL who feels inferior about himself every time he looks in the mirror and has nothing better to do in life than find women he can insult.

I have better things to do with my life.


You are officially on ignore. Stay the fuck away from me. Don't comment on my fucking posts or I will report your ass. plain and simple!

k.. i think you constructed a mental image of me as a person whom i'm not. i didnt even know what your gender is, you made your profile private..

i was gonna propose we both delete our comments so that this thread is not hijacked by me like you said but since you put me on ignore i guess you wont even see this smh

 

[BottomlessPit]

Let's get this thread back on track, guys.

Two days ago, I went to a hotel with a good view to eat SN. I wanted to do a ctb in a place with a good view. I made all the sn plans and checked in at the hotel, but the view was so beautiful that I lost my mind to ctb. I only stayed in the hotel for 2 hours and went back home. But regret it.
I should have eaten then.

It's possible that something like that will happen to me as well. My desire for death had been an unwavering constant for years, but every time I took a step to make ctb a reality it was as if my good judgement was replaced by unfounded and irrational uncertainty. I am not even sure if uncertainty is the right word, it's more like my faculty of reasoning just shuts off and all I'm left with is a mental void.
Going through all the trouble of arranging ctb just for it to be cancelled by a temporary lapse of judgement must be frustrating af, and I hate that this is within the realm of possibility for me. Doing it impulsively at home really has some benefits...

 

[tryingtoescape]

I can relate to this, and you're not alone. It hasn't just happened to you. It's so frustrating. The planning in advance, delaying due to survival instinct. Suicidal people often cling onto things they think will provide some temporary relief from pain or remind them of what life was like before. How long have you felt this way?

 

[Deleted member 8579]

It's possible that something like that will happen to me as well. My desire for death had been an unwavering constant for years, but every time I took a step to make ctb a reality it was as if my good judgement was replaced by unfounded and irrational uncertainty. I am not even sure if uncertainty is the right word, it's more like my faculty of reasoning just shuts off and all I'm left with is a mental void.
Going through all the trouble of arranging ctb just for it to be cancelled by a temporary lapse of judgement must be frustrating af, and I hate that this is within the realm of possibility for me. Doing it impulsively at home really has some benefits...

Suicide must be committed on impulse. As long as the mental and physical pain is not extreme enough to enable one to cross a certain threshold, the survival instinct will prevail.
This is not to say that suicide is an irrational act, the reasoning foregoing it being often sober philosophical reflection and a careful assessment of all options. In a calm, unemotional state, one is able to realise the necessity of suicide, but the emotional impulse is necessary to defeat the survival instinct. Hence, a suicide committed in an impulsive emotional state can still be the result of calm, logical deliberation.
It is important to note that the survival instinct is not the manifestation of an unconscious will to live, but a mere biological mechanism that evolved to increase the chances of reproduction.