Venting Well that went well

[Life_and_Death]

There is now a broken cup, a broken bowl and what was a full wine bottle now smashed. My weed roller is broken and if I splay my hand out there's a hole in my new place, in my unfinished wall. I told my husband I want a divorce and I also told him I have nothing here. The first he thinks is out of anger and the second I don't think he believes considering he told me that I do. Then where the fuck are they? Why am I so alone? Why am I not talking to them? I also told him "why don't you go clean up my mess like you always do" and he I'm 99% sure he took that wrong because he said no... And then I found him working on it anyways (in the end he left and didn't know that I cleaned it up) this is aside the point though. I said it because I made the mess not because he was cleaning it. It was a dig at me not him. This is why I say it's the motive not the action but whatever.......i just wish he'd say fine let's get a divorce. I'm so tired of everything. I just need it to stop.

 

[Bat 17]

You told him you want a divorce. That's massive. Does he think you are serious ?

Sounds like an ordeal you've been through. I hate matrimonial arguments

 

[Life_and_Death]

You told him you want a divorce. That's massive. Does he think you are serious ?

Sounds like an ordeal you've been through. I hate matrimonial arguments

Well I meant it but not even close in the way it came out.
I want to take a break. A chance for us to start the relationship at square 1.
However I basically just skipped to the end and f it he'll probably leave me anyway so that came out
I don't think he thinks I'm serious though. I've calmed down since then and we've been talking (not too much about this morning though so nothings really been explained yet)

 

[Bat 17]

Ha marital arguments are bad enough anyway without adding the BPD dimension lol. It's good you are talking. Sounds all rather intense. Hope the smashed wine wasn't too valuable !

 

[Life_and_Death]

Ha marital arguments are bad enough anyway without adding the BPD dimension lol.

Omg I know

Hope the smashed wine wasn't too valuable !

I don't think so...? From what I know about wine is have to guess not (I wouldn't call it cheap either though). What I do know is I don't drink wine so on a personal level, no hard feelings. However in the past hubby told me that he wanted to drink it at one of our anniversaries so I feel bad about that (I'm thinking I might try to find something I like and replace the idea with that) but at the same time it's a free pass for me because now I don't have to drink it lol.

 

[Bat 17]

(I'm thinking I might try to find something I like and replace the idea with that)

That's a nice idea and also quite amusing that you surreptitiously replace the wine with something you like. You are such a wife after all

 

[NotGoodEnough]

It would be good if you both managed to talk it out calmly. If you still want to be with him but feel like he'd leave you, say so. Better than to leave things unexplained