Well I didn't do it today.

[mediocreshining]

Last night, I was talking to one of my friends. She's 15 (I'm 18) and I learned she had been intentionally talking to predators online for whatever reason, she said emotional needs. I figure I can't abandon her. I'm worried about her, and she's self-harmed in the past. I don't want her getting more stressed by me dying. I figure I should at least wait a bit.

 

[Odwin]

And that is absolutely okay.

 

[UninformedLover]

That's a very selfless act - a quality that is hard to come by these days. You sound like a good friend :)

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I think you are a very good friend and what you're doing shows what kind of person you are.

 

[lofticries]

There is no deadline when it comes to ctb. There is not even a rule where you have to. You make your own decisions.

I hope everything turns out well for your friend. It's nice that you care about her so much to put off your plans.

 

[WornOutLife]

Don't worry. Death is patiently waiting for us.
We can always ctb another day, no need to rush.

I thought I was gonna ctb last night and here I am lol.

 

[profoundexperience]

Good!

I didn't realize that you were so young... I too remember when I was a teenager having similar inappropriate urges/desires (also never acted upon) that ~completely faded in my early-mid 20s (I'm 49 now)...

So, I although know you said you had other reasons... That main thing you mentioned may very possibly improve: Perhaps give it time and absolutely try to... not "feed it" in any way:

THE WOLF YOU FEED​

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."