Discussion WARNING: Writing A Suicide Note

[username12345]

Right. And that's fine. If it is successful, who cares about "feeling awkward". But if it is not, then whoever "they" are may not "come to terms" as you intended.

I know what you mean. If that person pushed you to want to ctb, you would want to write it all out and hope they read it and feel bad or "come to terms".

But if the attempt isn't successful, and you would have to deal with them again after they read your note (especially if it is a relative), don't expect them to always understand and "come to terms". They may treat you differently or worse than before.

If you don't ever have to deal with them either way, then it doesn't matter.

And that's exactly what I mean....

I assumed you wrote something about her being part of the reason you wanted to ctb? That's why she kicked you out?

And that's what I mean. That unintended consequence.

Yeah but I just don't think that the term awkward is fitting for an issue as serious as suicide. "Awkward" is a more trivial term not something that's life or death. Tbh if someone is that abusive to make you think you're only option for the shit to end is to kill yourself then it's still on them even if they won't accept it. They're not the ones that are hurt and it shows.

 

[hang in there]

Right. And that's fine. If it is successful, who cares about "feeling awkward". But if it is not, then whoever "they" are may not "come to terms" as you intended.

I know what you mean. If that person pushed you to want to ctb, you would want to write it all out and hope they read it and feel bad or "come to terms".

But if the attempt isn't successful, and you would have to deal with them again after they read your note (especially if it is a relative), don't expect them to always understand and "come to terms". They may treat you differently or worse than before.

If you don't ever have to deal with them either way, then it doesn't matter.

And that's exactly what I mean....

I assumed you wrote something about her being part of the reason you wanted to ctb? That's why she kicked you out?

And that's what I mean. That unintended consequence.

Oh sorry I did not get a notification that you responded.
>I assumed you wrote something about her being part of the reason you wanted to ctb? That's why she kicked you out?
No, it had nothing to do with anyone at all, it was very matter of fact and utilitarian, I wish I had not shredded it so I had it for example but basically all it said was that I was sound of mind, not impulsive, what I would like done with my posessions and what I would like done with my body. I had also filled out do not resuscitate orders in the event I caused brain damage instead of death, and I had a checklist of things I had to do just prior to hanging myself like using the toilet and lubricating the rope with petroleum jelly.
Although after seeing all of that she decided to literally dig through my garbage can and put together the shreds of other papers like they were puzzle pieces on top of my desk and yes those were a bit angrier and emotionally charged and directly calling her an evil cunt lol

 

[SilentSadness]

I agree. Suicide notes should only be written to provide closure, and as a makeshift alternative to a will only if necessary. There is no point blaming anyone because it will just come across as bitter, if you really want to hurt someone the best way would be to just not write them anything. But ideally notes should be written to provide people comfort and closure that you couldn't provide while still alive.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

Yeah but I just don't think that the term awkward is fitting for an issue as serious as suicide. "Awkward" is a more trivial term not something that's life or death. Tbh if someone is that abusive to make you think you're only option for the shit to end is to kill yourself then it's still on them even if they won't accept it. They're not the ones that are hurt and it shows.

Okay yeah. Maybe "awkward" isn't the exact term for it. But my point is not about "them not accepting it". I am talking about if you HAVE to deal with them afterwards if you fail. Then its not a matter of them accepting it or not. Its a matter of what is better for you. I am more talking about the situations maybe perhaps you are still living with this person and have no option to leave.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I've seen a lot of threads on this forum about trouble deciding whether to write a note or not, or what to write in the note.

But I feel like everyone should be warned of the consequences of writing a suicide note.

You should approach it with the thought that "what if your attempt fails?"

That's the only thing that matters. If your attempt is successful, you have nothing to worry about. You won't be there to know who read your note or who didn't. You won't know who is sad or not.

But if you're attempt is unsuccessful and people read your note, then there might be consequences that you did not expect.
This is particularly if you wrote anything along the lines of "you (a close family member) is what caused me to suicide".
If you fail, can you imagine how awkward it will be if you have to deal with this person again?
You weren't expecting to deal with them again obviously. But now you have to.

There is an exception to this, which is that the reason you want to ctb is not related to anyone. Then you may want to just write a note to ease the pain for the ones close to you to provide some closure.

The other important thing is also make sure you include what to do about your possessions, Especially money and pets.
Who do you want to give those things to? Its always better to let people know because people don't really know what you want to do with those things if you're gone. Especially pets. Please leave someone to take care of them. Whether or not people honor your wishes is up to them, But at least you did your part.
Also, you may want to include where you want to be buried if you care.

So to summarize.
1) Approach writing notes with the mindset that your attempt might fail. If the attempt fails, will it make things awkward or unbearable if someone read your note? If yes, maybe its best not to write those things in the note.
2) The exception to point number 1 is that your reason to ctb is not related to anyone. In this case, if you want to write a note just to provide some relief to the ones close to you, then that's fine.
3) Include what you want to do with your possessions after you pass. Who do you want to give them do? Do you want to donate it to charity? Etc....
Also, you may want to include where you want to be buried if you care.

I've never been a fan of writing suicide notes, but for those who so desire to please do what you must. Suicide notes are an absolute admission of a suicide attempt if you fail! If you hold any license or certain jobs, you will wake up with more problems and wished you had died.

The police will hold your suicide note regardless of what you write until the coroner has ruled it was a suicide. I had a co-worker who son committed suicide and once the note was released, she never went to pick it up. I would have ran to read it, but he reason was she wanted to remember her son how he has, and had no desire to pick the note up. I'll never understand her, but I'm sure there are others who feel the same as she does.

I just wanted to share that with anyone who have plans to ctb. Of course we never plan on failing an attempt, but look around this site and you will see it's not that easy to ctb.

 

[Keef Girgo]

A scheduled email or text seems like the best way to send it, that way you can always cancel if the attempt fails.
Plus you can send out different versions to different people.

I believe that you shouldn't put your burial requests in a will, as it often won't be read until after a funeral, so maybe just have a general document called 'Final Wishes'

 

[OhWellDerp321]

I've never been a fan of writing suicide notes, but for those who so desire to please do what you must. Suicide notes are an absolute admission of a suicide attempt if you fail! If you hold any license or certain jobs, you will wake up with more problems and wished you had died.

The police will hold your suicide note regardless of what you write until the coroner has ruled it was a suicide. I had a co-worker who son committed suicide and once the note was released, she never went to pick it up. I would have ran to read it, but he reason was she wanted to remember her son how he has, and had no desire to pick the note up. I'll never understand her, but I'm sure there are others who feel the same as she does.

I just wanted to share that with anyone who have plans to ctb. Of course we never plan on failing an attempt, but look around this site and you will see it's not that easy to ctb.

That's also another side I never considered. You will be basically marked as a "mentally unstable". And depending on the job that you have, you may not be able to do the job anymore as a result. Which.... if you fail, you will still need a job to survive.