Venting wanting to go back to self harm

[UniqueWorm]

Im really struggling to cope with my suicidal thoughts & ptsd symptoms and it feels like my only options are ctb-ing or going back to self harm.
I hate kids looking my scars confused, i hate other people looking at me with pitty or disgust but i dont really have another way to cope that lasts.

i have literally tried every single thing that makes me feel happy and ive tried all the coping skills ive learned over years of being in and out of psych wards, but the ONLY thing that has ever stoped things for long enough to feel any sort of relief had been self harm.
I don't know how long i can last right now without it

 

[day]

i resonate heavily with this thread and understand why you're in the situation you're in. sh has helped me a lot as well because it gives me something to mend so it draws my focus away from the bad stuff.

however one thing i've done to be 4 months clean is i use an app called "calm harm" it has a few things like activities to get your mind off it but it also has a built in counter for how long you've been clean on self harm. seeing the days go up and eating the little rewards they have is pretty nice and there's been plenty of times i stopped myself solely because of some stupid streak but it does work.. may be worth a shot?