Venting Vent/Question (tw: sh)

[littlesheep]

I'm gonna start with my question first: Anyone else who struggles with sh/cutting but often gets light headed looking at the slightly deeper wounds afterwards? Like to be clear, I'm not talking like dangerously deep just open like a few mm. Because I often have a hard time keeping my wounds clean and changing bandages, because looking at them makes me feel like I'm gonna faint. which feels so stupid. like I made those and I know they're not dangerous.

also I don't even know why I still get the urge to do it anymore. Like it's not fully an addiction, I'll go months in between relapses without issue. and I'm happy currently, I really am. but it still feels like the right thing to do sometimes. it helps me focus too. maybe I'm just lonely, idk. human bodies are so difficult to maintain, I feel like a sim

 

[day]

i had the same feeling when dealing with upkeep on my bigger cuts. just because i inflicted them on myself in a manic state doesn't mean i like to see that kinda stuff on my body yano?

glad you're feeling happy now though that's important. i get how the basics are hard to keep up on but it definitely makes me feel better to maintain some sense of self-care. i.e: showering, brushing teeth, doing makeup, dressing nice, getting some sun, etc etc.

not sure if my comment comes off as filler nonsense but i relate heavily to the things you're saying and wish the best for ya friend <3

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Some people are more sensitive to stuff like that. It was never much of an issue for me since it usually didn't take long for me to become desensitized. I do remember when I cut down to the fat for the first time. For the first few seconds, I felt proud of myself, but then I started to think about how I shouldn't be seeing this part of my body and how this wasn't right. Most people go their whole lives never even seeing what their dermis looks like, hence why even a styro cut is typically seen as being deep by many, especially by those who don't SH. Seeing those parts of your body can feel wrong. Your reaction to seeing your wounds sounds perfectly normal and isn't pathetic at all.

I also struggle with getting urges to cut despite it not being an addiction. I also relapse every few months.

 

[anonymouswebuser]

I'm gonna start with my question first: Anyone else who struggles with sh/cutting but often gets light headed looking at the slightly deeper wounds afterwards? Like to be clear, I'm not talking like dangerously deep just open like a few mm. Because I often have a hard time keeping my wounds clean and changing bandages, because looking at them makes me feel like I'm gonna faint. which feels so stupid. like I made those and I know they're not dangerous.

also I don't even know why I still get the urge to do it anymore. Like it's not fully an addiction, I'll go months in between relapses without issue. and I'm happy currently, I really am. but it still feels like the right thing to do sometimes. it helps me focus too. maybe I'm just lonely, idk. human bodies are so difficult to maintain, I feel like a sim

I relate to what you're describing when and I'm pretty sensitive to seeing any types of wounds on anyone
it feels like I'm not fully conscious of my actions I go into autopilot—a state where my mind is paralyzed and all I can think about is wanting to do it

after a few minutes I snap back to reality and my breathing becomes heavy and I immediately try to find a bandage to cover up how it looks
and honestly I don't think it's stupid or weird to feel that way it's just your reaction or realizing that you weren't supposed to see this deep into your body
sh is already a complicated topic

I try to sleep when the urge hits in hopes that when I wake up the feeling will have passed but you can try to replace sh with other habits so looking at your scars doesn't keep bothering you for a while, like biting, pinching, scratching, snapping a rubber band or drawing a red line instead so they're just temporary and not as intense to look at

 

[56842]

vasovagal syncope/reaction - very normal and common