Validating suffering (in a weird way)

[LostSoul1609]

I know suffering is subjective, I know everybody suffers in a way and yet I feel like an idiot. Feeling bad for my life, I always feel like it's my fault, I'm constantly fighting a battle over deciding wheter my parents were good or not even tho on a logical level I've been proven over and over of their toxicity.
I still feel like all of this is my fault, like I'm looking for attention or something, like I'm an egocentric sociopath that just wants to be pitied.

 

[AQUA]

We've all been there, you're not alone
When disorder/chaos happens everything in your life becomes relevant because you understandably want to figure out the main reason you feel the way you do. However... if you aren't open to accepting the true reason you feel the way you do (I don't blame you btw the truth really fucking hurts) you'll constantly be looking at EVERY other source to discredit & dismiss what is so obviously the truth, leading to an endless cycle of unrealistic rationalizations.

From my understanding, this could be the start of your awakening... you're essentially standing on the doormat to Nirvana