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Loser1989

Loser1989

Expires: June 2025: Pending Changes
Dec 18, 2024
79
Had an appointment this morning over the phone about my suicidal ideation, general anxiety and depression.

The usual questions, the usual responses, until I got to the end of the appointment. The lady I spoke to was fantastic, she listened, let me cry like the mess I am, but at the end of the appointment she told me she would make me another appointment because she needed to speak to another advisor about my case.

I wasn't overly truthful if I'm being honest. When she asked me if I drink alcohol I said no after a pause. I was lying. I have been drinking about 400ml of vodka a day. I just dont even know what the point of this stupid post is.

To many people I wouldn't seem so down on my luck but I hate myself. I haven't worked in 6 years and I feel that makes up my value as a person. It's sad. I wish I was someone who could just coast through life. Typical wife or husband situation a kid or 2, a dog, mortgage... but it's not the case for me. I'm single, housemate, a cat, what the hell is my life 😂 it's a joke, I'm a joke and a burden to everyone I know. If I ever do CTB I hope someone finds this and just knows it's how I feel.

Its 2pm and I'm wasted. Drinking is making my life bearable.

Sorry you beautiful people, I hope 2025 is everything you want and need it to be.
 
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Z

Zaphkiel

IDK
May 13, 2023
246
It might sound weird but.
There is nothing wrong with being a housemate, and single. And to be honest, being a couple with early kid and shit is beginnig to not be the standard anymore, for multiple reasons (not only financials! mindsets are changing)
On the other hand, i'm proud of you to take care of another life. It makes you a great human.
You have high expectations, and that might be good if ou wouldnt forget that you are far from being a bad apple to begin with.
 
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Loser1989

Loser1989

Expires: June 2025: Pending Changes
Dec 18, 2024
79
It might sound weird but.
There is nothing wrong with being a housemate, and single. And to be honest, being a couple with early kid and shit is beginnig to not be the standard anymore, for multiple reasons (not only financials! mindsets are changing)
On the other hand, i'm proud of you to take care of another life. It makes you a great human.
You have high expectations, and that might be good if ou wouldnt forget that you are far from being a bad apple to begin with.
Your reply made me tear up. Thank you, I truly mean that.
 
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Z

Zaphkiel

IDK
May 13, 2023
246
Nothing wrong with that either. Thats what makes you a good human. Told you so!
 
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Loser1989

Loser1989

Expires: June 2025: Pending Changes
Dec 18, 2024
79
I've been referred to the community Mental health team so I'm a bit conflicted 🙃🙃🙃
 
miyabi

miyabi

Member
Dec 20, 2024
54
Had an appointment this morning over the phone about my suicidal ideation, general anxiety and depression.

The usual questions, the usual responses, until I got to the end of the appointment. The lady I spoke to was fantastic, she listened, let me cry like the mess I am, but at the end of the appointment she told me she would make me another appointment because she needed to speak to another advisor about my case.

I wasn't overly truthful if I'm being honest. When she asked me if I drink alcohol I said no after a pause. I was lying. I have been drinking about 400ml of vodka a day. I just dont even know what the point of this stupid post is.

To many people I wouldn't seem so down on my luck but I hate myself. I haven't worked in 6 years and I feel that makes up my value as a person. It's sad. I wish I was someone who could just coast through life. Typical wife or husband situation a kid or 2, a dog, mortgage... but it's not the case for me. I'm single, housemate, a cat, what the hell is my life 😂 it's a joke, I'm a joke and a burden to everyone I know. If I ever do CTB I hope someone finds this and just knows it's how I feel.

Its 2pm and I'm wasted. Drinking is making my life bearable.

Sorry you beautiful people, I hope 2025 is everything you want and need it to be.
Enjoy your drink. My birthday fell in between Christmas and the New Year. I've spent all of it getting blackout drunk. It helps.

I work a lot of overtime and sacrifice a lot of my money on investments and my pension in a somewhat idealistic goal of being able to become a NEET. I think with food, shelter, the internet, and some drink it could be pretty comfy.

I've been referred to the community Mental health team so I'm a bit conflicted 🙃🙃🙃
Is there something bad about that?
 
Loser1989

Loser1989

Expires: June 2025: Pending Changes
Dec 18, 2024
79
Enjoy your drink. My birthday fell in between Christmas and the New Year. I've spent all of it getting blackout drunk. It helps.

I work a lot of overtime and sacrifice a lot of my money on investments and my pension in a somewhat idealistic goal of being able to become a NEET. I think with food, shelter, the internet, and some drink it could be pretty comfy.


Is there something bad about that?
It does help, I've never been a big drinker though so it's a bit concerning for me.

That sounds really nice, I'm glad you have a goal.

Regarding the CMHT I've never been referred before. I usually just get stuck with CBT and then after 8 weeks of homework they just say bye and wait until I have another episode of CBT thoughts. I just feel like it's a bigger step, kind of like being told toy need surgery after years of pain, y'know?
 
miyabi

miyabi

Member
Dec 20, 2024
54
That sounds really nice, I'm glad you have a goal.

Regarding the CMHT I've never been referred before. I usually just get stuck with CBT and then after 8 weeks of homework they just say bye and wait until I have another episode of CBT thoughts. I just feel like it's a bigger step, kind of like being told toy need surgery after years of pain, y'know?
I think it's a good thing. It's something new to try and be a bit hopeful for. It would be worse if they said they'd exhausted their options with you.

I wanted to say that you shouldn't base your self worth around being employed or not. There are a lot of people with jobs that do more overall harm to society than NEETS. Some of the kindest people I've met have struggled with employment.

You didn't ask to be born so I wouldn't say you're a burden. You're just doing your best to survive with the cards you've been dealt.
 
Loser1989

Loser1989

Expires: June 2025: Pending Changes
Dec 18, 2024
79
I think it's a good thing. It's something new to try and be a bit hopeful for. It would be worse if they said they'd exhausted their options with you.

I wanted to say that you shouldn't base your self worth around being employed or not. There are a lot of people with jobs that do more overall harm to society than NEETS. Some of the kindest people I've met have struggled with employment.

You didn't ask to be born so I wouldn't say you're a burden. You're just doing your best to survive with the cards you've been dealt.

Thank you, Miyabi. I forgot to say happy birthday as well. It's been bugging me a little that I didn't say it.

I know my self worth isn't defined by my job status, but I feel like it is and I cant shift the thought from my brain.
 
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