Up and down and up and down

[Sadness20]

Lately its either all the way up or all the way down. Every small issue can make me suicidal. And a small positive thing can make me have such a high that I wonder if that's what mania feels like. After every VERY good phase, comes a VERY down phase. And that's like AT LEAST once a day. Additionally I've been very paranoid about people hating me, looking at me weirdly. I feel like everyone hates me. And I'm sick of the high phases too because the bad times always come. And they are usually a lot worse than the high ones can be good. I want to end it finally. Just stop the pain.

 

[waiting4thenextbus]

Lately its either all the way up or all the way down. Every small issue can make me suicidal. And a small positive thing can make me have such a high that I wonder if that's what mania feels like. After every VERY good phase, comes a VERY down phase. And that's like AT LEAST once a day. Additionally I've been very paranoid about people hating me, looking at me weirdly. I feel like everyone hates me. And I'm sick of the high phases too because the bad times always come. And they are usually a lot worse than the high ones can be good. I want to end it finally. Just stop the pain.

I'm really sorry that you're dealing with this immense stress and pain. :(

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds very tiring what you are going through. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I hope that you find relief from suffering.

 

[angelfeather]

I so get this. One minute something can happen and I literally want to die there and then, then other times I am so positive and motivated. It's draining. I'm also waiting for the drop. I find I get paranoid when I'm really stressed. I do not trust people and hate going out into the street. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I'd also rather just not be alive anymore as cannot deal with feeling like this day in day out…

 

[Sadness20]

I so get this. One minute something can happen and I literally want to die there and then, then other times I am so positive and motivated. It's draining. I'm also waiting for the drop. I find I get paranoid when I'm really stressed. I do not trust people and hate going out into the street. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I'd also rather just not be alive anymore as cannot deal with feeling like this day in day out…

yes, thank you for sharing it feels nice to have someone who understands