Unless I take a Benzo, days are so hard. Just need to rant.

[kouna]

Usually when I wakeup I judge how anxious I feel, if I feel a lot of anxiety I take 2 mg of lorazepam or bromazepam (lorazepam is much better) which is enough to make it through the day. My psychiatrist has prescribed a much higher dose spilt through the day, 1mg in the morning, 1mg with lunch and 2 mg to fall asleep. You can really build tolerance to Benzos so I prefer to do my own thing.

Last night I had 3 x 1,5 litre cans of beer so this morning I was a little hangover and I decided not to take a Benzo, it seems my hangover covered my anxiety. I was totally unproductive at work and now I'm spending the whole afternoon waiting for a basketball game to start, my anxiety is really killing me, tried to play some Tekken 8 but got bored quickly, I don't feel like watching any series or film or porn.

I'm not gonna take a benzo, I said that I won't drink any beers tonight but I already had a small can.

Damn, my head is messed up.

Sorry, just wanted to rant.

Edit: I think I'll put the last season of "Sex education" while I wait for the game to start. Yesterday I watched the latest "The boys" episode, now that's a great TV series.

 

[matheush]

Ive been addicted to benzo (alprazolam) for about 2,5 years. Im year sober now, and all i can say, it isnt a medication that should be taken longterm, even though I was taking it on my own, in like 5mg doses, and i thought everything is perfectly fine and at that time i didnt care about nothing, my panic attacks barely showed up, but it started to drag me down, its just this weird feeling, i can't remember anything from that time, and thats one of the side effects of this drug. The process of sobriety is awful but i started smoking and it helped me a bit. I quitted it overnight, and even though this journey was hard its worth it, i still get panic attacks but they are not that strong as when i was taking benzo and life is so much better, so im sure you can do it if you want to !!! ♡ (sry for my english its not my first language)