Unexpected heartbreak on cbt journey?

[broken_songbird]

This asshole *Tim (the person who talked me out of cbt on 08/08) talked me in to writing a suicide note to my most valued mentor, who we both know professionally. I felt dumb and angry about it the moment I woke up on the 9th. It was a stupid thing to do that I would have never done had I not felt like I was somehow bargaining with *Tim for the quality of my life. I let him change all my plans and hung my hopes on it, knowing better. Desperation can make us do funny things. Now I have to start all over again. But the worst part? My most valued mentor never even tried to reply. It's bittersweet. Has anyone else gotten any unexpected surprises on this journey?

*name changed to protect the very, very guilty

 

[Hope:-)]

Oh yes. You're bound to have at least one very strange encounter on here. Comes with the territory. x

 

[abyss]

Interesting question but I can only say no. No one really contacts me, I might not get a message from someone outside my family in the next year which is no exaggeration. So no one would pick up on my CTB journey. In the past in moments of desperation I tried to contact people I thought were my friends or could at least offer support but they never reply.

 

[broken_songbird]

Interesting question but I can only say no. No one really contacts me, I might not get a message from someone outside my family in the next year which is no exaggeration. So no one would pick up on my CTB journey. In the past in moments of desperation I tried to contact people I thought were my friends or could at least offer support but they never reply.

Definitely feel that. It's not even disheartening anymore. I don't even try to scroll through my phone. There's no one. Something that makes the world terrifying is the knowledge that if I disappeared nobody would notice. I'm not expected anywhere. I called *Tim on a reflex and regretted it the second it started to ring. He's a vampire who needs to look like a hero. I'm pretty upset about letting him interfere. I was letting go, I could feel it. It was peaceful. This is not. I wish my brain would stop fighting.

Oh yes. You're bound to have at least one very strange encounter on here. Comes with the territory. x

Sounds like you've got an interesting story...?