Venting Unable to make up mind

[now_or_never]

It's difficult for me at this moment. I experience insomnia, and other side effects of psychiatric medication, plus my habitual avolition. Death seems appealing because it would end my suffering for good, yet I cannot make up my mind to take the necessary steps. I feel trapped in my life, yet I am unable order two bottles of N to end it all. And with the global shortage, my window of opportunity might be closing.

Maybe it is just that my suffering is still bearable, or maybe it is just my survival instincts. In my mind I imagine taking the N, and falling in a deep slumber for ever, it is so appealing, yet I am unable to order it.

I feel like a failure for this. My life is quite meek, yet I can't finish it...

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering. I also like the sound of falling asleep and never waking up. It must be hard to be in that situation, but I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Julgran]

It's difficult for me at this moment. I experience insomnia, and other side effects of psychiatric medication, plus my habitual avolition. Death seems appealing because it would end my suffering for good, yet I cannot make up my mind to take the necessary steps. I feel trapped in my life, yet I am unable order two bottles of N to end it all. And with the global shortage, my window of opportunity might be closing.

Maybe it is just that my suffering is still bearable, or maybe it is just my survival instincts. In my mind I imagine taking the N, and falling in a deep slumber for ever, it is so appealing, yet I am unable to order it.

I feel like a failure for this. My life is quite meek, yet I can't finish it...

Now, I neither want to encourage or discourage a persom from ending their life, but I personally find it comforting to have my end-of-life method ready at hand, shoudl I decide to use it. Therefore, I would advidse you to come up with an end-of-life plan, but you don't need to use it immediately. In fact, you could use it in 50 years from now - depending on your age, of course - at leats that's how I think for myself