torimandy
Fear is the mind killer
- Aug 3, 2020
- 146
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves, no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This is the poem that was running through my mind those years ago as I was trying to live the life I was meant to live or ending my life.
One evening I was sitting in a grove of trees I had planted when I was 13 years old. My life was lost as I had known since I was 4 years old I was in the wrong body. My disclosure of this had ended a 17 year marriage and alienated me from my best friend. I had a sawed off shotgun in my lap as this poem ran through my mind over and over. It was because of it I decided to allow myself the authentic life I deserved rather than end my life.I started on hormones the next day.
Now knowing what I do, with a lost career as I found nobody would hire me in my field, With a loss of every family member in my life to include my children, with 2 sexual assaults under my belt, and being fired 4 times from shit jobs just because of who I am, homeless twice, Living in utter solitude as refuse to allow people to feitishize me and use me, I now realize the obvious choice I should have made all those years ago was to pull the trigger.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves, no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This is the poem that was running through my mind those years ago as I was trying to live the life I was meant to live or ending my life.
One evening I was sitting in a grove of trees I had planted when I was 13 years old. My life was lost as I had known since I was 4 years old I was in the wrong body. My disclosure of this had ended a 17 year marriage and alienated me from my best friend. I had a sawed off shotgun in my lap as this poem ran through my mind over and over. It was because of it I decided to allow myself the authentic life I deserved rather than end my life.I started on hormones the next day.
Now knowing what I do, with a lost career as I found nobody would hire me in my field, With a loss of every family member in my life to include my children, with 2 sexual assaults under my belt, and being fired 4 times from shit jobs just because of who I am, homeless twice, Living in utter solitude as refuse to allow people to feitishize me and use me, I now realize the obvious choice I should have made all those years ago was to pull the trigger.
