Two of my main reasons for keeping myself alive are dying in my arms....

[silverspring]

I'm a rat mom. Have been a mom to other animals as well, but for most of my life, it's been me and my rats. Make fun of me, judge me if you must, but last year I got down to having seven lady rats. By the end of the year, I only had four. Then my 18 year old cat died. Two of my girls are currently on my chest, working on their last breaths. As I sit here, for the first time since having rats, not () crying my eyes out for my beautiful twin angels who are about to leave, I am thinking about the other two that remain who are munching away in their palace of a cage. Thinking about how once these two go, it will be moments closer to being able to feel less guilty about doing what I know will make me happiest. Not saying it will be a right away thing when I can, but it is hitting me that I'm a step closer. I am devastated that my sweet Selene and Luna, the rats, are about to leave. More than I can express. I can't even cry right now. These babies have been keeping me afloat for many years and I don't think it's fair to keep adopting them while I am feeling this fragile.

I really want to die.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Oh goodness, that's so sad. I'm so sorry. I know you will miss them.

 

[waitingforrest]

I'm really sorry for your loss, losing pets are like losing friends that have always been there for you.

 

[Foresight]

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Rat deaths are so tragic. They're so small and vulnerable. It's hard to watch but at the same time you want to give comfort.

I lost two baby rats that were just picked up in a week span and I grieved myself to illness. I held them to their last breath. I know the feeling. You sound like a good rat mom. I love sincere rat people, they're always good people. I'm glad they have you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

No, why would there be judgment. You love them and that's all that matters. So sorry that you, and them, are going through this. It's hard losing a pet who is a member of your family. I've been there, too. I can only imagine how you must feel losing some of your support mechanism in your life. So sorry.

 

[silverspring]

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Rat deaths are so tragic. They're so small and vulnerable. It's hard to watch but at the same time you want to give comfort.

I lost two baby rats that were just picked up in a week span and I grieved myself to illness. I held them to their last breath. I know the feeling. You sound like a good rat mom. I love sincere rat people, they're always good people. I'm glad they have you.

Hello, fellow rat person.

God, aren't they so tragic? I feel like it is one of those things that I thought I'd get a grip on at SOME point in my silly life, but these sweet angels teach you empathy in a different way. I've lost dogs and a cat and my rats always push me to a sadness that I can't explain. Right now I almost feel too tired to go through this again, which makes me feel awful. Last year I lost three in a row and two of them not even within a week- they were all well over the age of two and it just sucks. Something about losing THOSE THREE sent me into a spiral I thought I was figuring out. Last year, I started therapy and meds after almost four and a half years of not having any help at all. I thought I was doing so well, but losing them tipped me. Even so much that my stupid little ~semi popular rat Instagram that I'd been using since like, 2014 ended up being deactivated because I couldn't deal with the stress with keeping it up. I miss my friends I made in that community.

Life is just so difficult when you deal with wanting to be there for every baby rat who gets tossed to the side or needs help. Life is just TOO difficult when you want to die but have lost too many to CTB to even count on two hands and know the pain that it causes and the mess and leaving people behind. It's just all too much. I hope I can make it to take care of the other two. My one best friend also is a rat mother and would probably help me, but she would probably lose it if I left, and she struggles too- that could be too much on her poor heart.

The woe is real

Oh goodness, that's so sad. I'm so sorry. I know you will miss them.

I can't imagine life without them and I can't imagine life anymore at all.

I'm really sorry for your loss, losing pets are like losing friends that have always been there for you.

I completely agree

No, why would there be judgment. You love them and that's all that matters. So sorry that you, and them, are going through this. It's hard losing a pet who is a member of your family. I've been there, too. I can only imagine how you must feel losing some of your support mechanism in your life. So sorry.

Thank you for these words. I'm certainly doing my best, for them, maybe not so much for me...but them for sure.

 

[Doombox]

Selene and Luna are beautiful names.

 

[silverspring]

Selene and Luna are beautiful names.

They are beautiful tiny white moons

 

[Foresight]

White angels! They're so comfy and they have each other and you. It never gets easier. I've owned over 30 in my years. They're so full of life when they're here with huge personalities. I've owned many other animals and I've never seen such interesting personality differences and such beautiful social bonds.They're very special. It's hard seeing the little bundles of life grow frail but I'm glad they're getting a beauitful moment here with their favorite human.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Rats are very precious, entertaining, empathetic, smart little creatures. They are real treasures, so it's nearly impossible not to form bonds with them. I am sorry that you have to experience a continuous loss of pets, especially during an already difficult time. I am sure they appreciate the warmth of love you've given them in their short time on this earth.

 

[Shu]

that is so sad. I'm so sorry. No judgement. We have had rats also. 3 of them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through this, it must be so painful and devastating. Death and loss are inevitable in this life, eventually we will all die and lose everything someday. This life can be very depressing. I wish you the best.

 

[silverspring]

White angels! They're so comfy and they have each other and you. It never gets easier. I've owned over 30 in my years. They're so full of life when they're here with huge personalities. I've owned many other animals and I've never seen such interesting personality differences and such beautiful social bonds.They're very special. It's hard seeing the little bundles of life grow frail but I'm glad they're getting a beauitful moment here with their favorite human.

Aren't they precious? I've owned and loved about the same amount and I thank them every day for all their graciousness. They both actually made it through the night, but they're even worse today. Sadly I have to wait for my vet appointment for them which is on Monday, I can't do the emergency vet, because my funds are kind of iffy. But I've been snuggling them since last night. Now I have a migraine from all the tears I poured into them last night. They're trying so hard, I can tell they love being with mama

Rats are very precious, entertaining, empathetic, smart little creatures. They are real treasures, so it's nearly impossible not to form bonds with them. I am sorry that you have to experience a continuous loss of pets, especially during an already difficult time. I am sure they appreciate the warmth of love you've given them in their short time on this earth.

I'm so glad the feedback about talking rats here is so empathetic and understanding. Sometimes I worry about backlash. Thankfully I do see their gratefulness every time I hold them and tell them I love them.

that is so sad. I'm so sorry. No judgement. We have had rats also. 3 of them.

Aren't they angels?

I'm sorry that you are going through this, it must be so painful and devastating. Death and loss are inevitable in this life, eventually we will all die and lose everything someday. This life can be very depressing. I wish you the best.

Your replies are always so heartfelt and kind.

Thank you for being a light.

 

[GentleJerk]

I've owned rats before too. Sounds like you've obviously looked after them very well, and given them lots of love throughout their lives. That's something to be happy about and always remember. I'm sorry, I know this must be such a difficult time. Losing loved ones, no matter how furry and small their little hands are, is one of the hardest things in life. Wishing you and your little rat angels all the very best, always.

 

[freedompass]

I really admire the evident love and attachment you have to your animals. I'm sure they feel and appreciate it.

 

[silverspring]

I really admire the evident love and attachment you have to your animals. I'm sure they feel and appreciate it.

I don't know why, but this made me cry. I certainly do my best. They're really my world. My accountability. Everything.

Another photo just for a smile. Three of these babies are gone now. But they made me so happy...

(Sorry for the blurry photo quality, they cray.)

 

[Fakereality]

Stories do need ending even the stories of rats needs an end to be complete as my friend always used to say "Don't look at the ending but joyful moments of the journey " Death of Rats would stand at your rats cage "SQUAK" it would say and "squak" your rats would reply in a melaonchic tone thus would came the end of a heartfelt story.