Turns out I'm actually shit at my job

[Lolkillme]

I was planning on ctb last week. Decided to just wait it out "maybe it'll get better". The one thing I had going for me was my job, and I thought I was good at it. The past few days it turns out I'm actually the worst. I felt like I could come into work and just get my shit done and go back to my shitty life. Nope. I'm 99% sure my coworkers are talking shit about me behind my back. And tbh I don't blame them. I would too. I try my best to blend in and seem like I'm not incredibly fucking depressed. But I'm failing. Never succeeding. Never proud of who I am or what I can be. Always embarrassed

 

[WornOutLife]

Don't be so hard on yourself.
You might have not had good days at your job recently but according to what you said, it seems you used to enjoy it and actually had good times in the past.

Whatever happens, wish you the best and remember: there are lots of jobs out there in which I bet you're more than great.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can really be exhausting, it can be hard to deal with depression. I hope things improve for you. It can seem hopeless a lot of the time, I know what that is like.

 

[James82]

I think I'm pretty good at my job overall but I do make some pretty stupid mistakes sometimes. It can be hard not to beat myself up too much about it. Normally I start to feel better over time.

 

[Celerity]

I was planning on ctb last week. Decided to just wait it out "maybe it'll get better". The one thing I had going for me was my job, and I thought I was good at it. The past few days it turns out I'm actually the worst. I felt like I could come into work and just get my shit done and go back to my shitty life. Nope. I'm 99% sure my coworkers are talking shit about me behind my back. And tbh I don't blame them. I would too. I try my best to blend in and seem like I'm not incredibly fucking depressed. But I'm failing. Never succeeding. Never proud of who I am or what I can be. Always embarrassed

What happened specifically, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[rs929]

Depression gives you brain fog and if you are very depressed you become some sort of an idiot. It's temporary though. You shouldn't make the mistake of judging the quality or level of your work while you are depressed. I made that mistake and it sent me spiraling down in worse and worse depression, because I felt I would suck at my job forever. Truth is, that wasn't the right job for me (I wasn't really appreciated to begin with), and my cognitive functioning began to get better with time, although I'm not yet 100%
What kind of work do you do?

 

[Lolkillme]

Update: they fired me today. I saw this coming. Funny enough last week I posted a status on my FB saying how I was doing well at my job. I took it down yesterday. This is do fucking cool lol

 

[logan]

I'm really sorry about that ...
Maybe it was meant to be and you will find a better alternative for you now.
Don't take it too much to heart now.

 

[Celerity]

Update: they fired me today. I saw this coming. Funny enough last week I posted a status on my FB saying how I was doing well at my job. I took it down yesterday. This is do fucking cool lol

Oh no! I'm so sorry. It sounds like they didn't give you fair warning at all. This may have nothing to do with your performance. That's what they always say it is to cover their asses. May be more about $ or politics.

 

[darkghost]

I understand you. I left my job recently because I felt i was the worst among my coworkers. And they talked about me behind my back too. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[rs929]

Update: they fired me today. I saw this coming. Funny enough last week I posted a status on my FB saying how I was doing well at my job. I took it down yesterday. This is do fucking cool lol

Don't give up, this doesn't mean you're not good at your job.

 

[deepinlimbo]

I've had time off from my job for a long while when I realised my life was going down hill and yet I'm still working and probably not for long. But I will press on and use my loss of job as way of kicking the bucket.

I know it's also easy to get paranoid about people talking about you. But they may have been more concerned and unsure how to act or just confused. Anyway they shouldn't be judging


I know how it feels though to not be performing as you might like too be. I know I can do my job but I know I could do it 1000 times better if I was well. I'm sure you were better than you gave yourself credit for. I know now it may seem like that isn't true but employers often find a way of getting rid of depressed people by disguising it under the guise of something else. Maybe you can get to go back again if things get better or maybe get something better? I guess in the meantime this gives you time to work on yourself and how you want to proceed.

You clearly have some passion left to work hard and maybe you can work again. Anyway I wish you the best and don't beat yourself up over this. Hope it works out for you.

 

[Lolkillme]

I appreciate everyone's kind words, but it was most definitely performance based. I know exactly why they let me go. This is especially rough because I was already going through a hard time, but trying my best and still seeing myself fail. I'd tell myself "everyone makes mistakes" but if you make too many in a short period of time, people just assume that's who you are.

 

[Jumping_realms]

I appreciate everyone's kind words, but it was most definitely performance based. I know exactly why they let me go. This is especially rough because I was already going through a hard time, but trying my best and still seeing myself fail. I'd tell myself "everyone makes mistakes" but if you make too many in a short period of time, people just assume that's who you are.

I'm a month late, but I hope you are making out better than you were with losing that job.

Hope you're well.