Trying to get better until I graduate

[Ghostlights]

I'm in my final year of school and I'm graduating in a month. I don't go to class anymore, I only have to go to school for my final exams and between those exams I get to stay at home. I've been in a bad place (mentally) for many years, but in the last few years I started losing my hobbies and now I just rot in bed all day and spend way too much time on the internet. Now, that I don't have to leave the house for school, it's even worse. Since I'll be finally "free" in a month, I want to able to actually enjoy doing something by then, which is why I want to force myself to do something every day. Even if it is just a simple thing like drawing, studying, taking a walk or cleaning...

That's probably not very interesting to other people, but I'll try to give an update every day. By telling the internet, my chances of following through are probably higher. I still have about eight hours left of today, so I'll be back later and tell you what I did today.

(I know this won't solve the problems, which I had for years, but I've not managed to convince myself to go to therapy yet and even if so, I'd still have to wait for months until I get to see a therapist.)

 

[Ghostlights]

Day 1:
I went to a free concert of a local band. Had to leave early, because a man about twice my age wanted to know where I live and asked for my number. He followed me, but I eventually managed to escape.
I'm feeling very discouraged right now... I'm scared of leaving the house, because he only lives about a mile away from me.

 

[Ghostlights]

Day 2:
Went to school, because I wanted to discuss something with a teacher about a final exam, but I couldn't find them... they are probably still sick. In the afternoon, I practiced guitar for a couple of hours, because I have a lesson tomorrow and didn't do anything for the last week. It was quite nice noticing some improvement.

 

[Isolatedloser]

I'm with you here too. Sorry about that gross person. I'm struggling with graduating and it's so much to deal with but it can be done.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I hope all goes well for you, I'm wishing you the best.

 

[Ghostlights]

I hope all goes well for you, I'm wishing you the best.

Thank you so much!^^

I'm with you here too. Sorry about that gross person. I'm struggling with graduating and it's so much to deal with but it can be done.

Thank you! Wishing you all the best for your graduation!

 

[Ghostlights]

Day 3:
Had a guitar lesson, which went really well. The weather was a bit better today than it was in the last couple of days, so I went to drop of package and bought a shampoo I wanted to try. Biggest achievement today: I finally organized my closet!

I also made a list of my bad habits, which I need to quit. Came to the conclusion, that I should stop watching suicide videos on WPD, because it has evolved into some sort of mental self harm. Gonna limit my screentime for Instagram to one hour to reduce doomscrolling and I'll try to brush my teeth after every meal and do some skincare, since those are some things I've been neglecting a bit because of my mental health.