Venting Tomorrow was supposed to be the day

[amarillo]

Fuck. I had everything prepared: I wrote eight letters, I asked some days off work, I even went to a notary to sign my fucking will yesterday. And then, just now, my flatmate tells me she and her boyfriend are not leaving this weekend. They were supposed to be away from this evening until Monday morning, it would have been perfect. They planned it months ago, so I started planning all my things months ago. It all led up to this weekend. And then her boyfriend comes into contact with someone with COVID and has to stay home. Fuuuuck.

This was my last chance for a while to come. All my family's and friends' birthdays are coming up, and so is Christmas. I can't do it to them to ctb in that period. But fuck, this means I have to lie my way through at least another two months. I have to sit through another birthday. And hell, I might even have to move back to my mum's house, because my flatmates are looking for a place of their own. That would mean I would lose any kind of privacy to even be able to ctb.

Fuck. I even liked December 4 as a date. I'm so done. I can't do this shit.

 

[suicidebiddybyebye]

You could try booking a hotel.

 

[Jenjoh2358]

Would New Years Eve (December 31st) be a suitable replacement for December 4th?

A new year with all the joyful lovey holidays behind you and a grand exit of fireworks… perfect.

If that works for you schedule-wise

 

[FuneralCry]

The situation you are in sounds very frustrating. We should be able to die in peace without the risk of others interfering, after all it is our life and our decision and we never asked to be alive in the first place. I understand why you would be annoyed. I also feel done with life. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.