today evening

[Totally_nothin]

I am feeling extremelly down here, and I am wondering about drinking some chemicals which are in the bathroom, where my room mate will sleep, its for cleaning toilet, and pipes... some acid, I just don't wanna be alive tomorrow... or at least not be okay, because in other case I will get only another reasons why to do it... I don't have a rope or anything, so I can't just hang yourself, or knife to stab myself or anything... any reason why to not do it? and what will happen if i will really decide to do it?

 

[deathgripsme]

Im not sure but that sounds a horrible way to go. Life is unbearable I know but you atleast deserve to go somewhat peacefully. There are resources on the site. Peace be with you

 

[pseudoendotrizine]

I suggest you to spend more time on this forum to research a better method while reconsider if your decision is rational. Based on your description I feel like it's highly likely your attempt will not be succeed, suffering from the pain and hospitalized.

 

[rationaltake]

Doesn't sound like a good idea. Though I understand how you feel. You'd probably just end up in a worse situation.

 

[cambrai33]

I am feeling extremelly down here, and I am wondering about drinking some chemicals which are in the bathroom, where my room mate will sleep, its for cleaning toilet, and pipes... some acid, I just don't wanna be alive tomorrow... or at least not be okay, because in other case I will get only another reasons why to do it... I don't have a rope or anything, so I can't just hang yourself, or knife to stab myself or anything... any reason why to not do it? and what will happen if i will really decide to do it?

Just don't!

Seriously don't do this on impulse, it is destined to fail but more importantly ctb should not be based on feeling really down. Is there something you still get pleasure from? I mentioned to someone else about walking a dog if you have access to one. They won't judge you, they won't desert you and they will be grateful for every minute you can spend with them. Look I know it sounds stupid borrowing a dog but it's marginally better than making a life changing decision based on the contents of the bathroom.

Keep posting on here, I don't know you but I'm here if I can help and don't do anything you are not 100 percent sure is right for you

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

This is a very bad idea. Please reconsider.

Drinking cleaning products is unlikely to end your life, but it will cause great pain and may result in permanent scarring and disability.

There are many ways to end your life that won't hurt so much. Please read the resources here - it helps.

Just knowing that there are so many choices and so many people here who understand can provide a sense of relief.

We are here to listen and we care. Tell us what's going on.

 

[Totally_nothin]

Just don't!

Seriously don't do this on impulse, it is destined to fail but more importantly ctb should not be based on feeling really down. Is there something you still get pleasure from? I mentioned to someone else about walking a dog if you have access to one. They won't judge you, they won't desert you and they will be grateful for every minute you can spend with them. Look I know it sounds stupid borrowing a dog but it's marginally better than making a life changing decision based on the contents of the bathroom.

Keep posting on here, I don't know you but I'm here if I can help and don't do anything you are not 100 percent sure is right for you

honestly yeah I have dog... I like to sleep with him, and spend some time with it, but I can't say that I really do enjoy to be with him, its just something like a cuddling and nuzzling plushing which I can use in my worst moment, but anyway I am not at home so I don't have access to him... about pleasure from something... actually I can't say, few years ago I liked to play games, but lately its just that I am usually staring at monitor, and my brain is thinking about ways how to do so... I always thought that one day I will do it impulsevely in the moment when I will feel worst, like today... but last thing what I wanna is to finish in a hospital, with handcuffs on hands...

 

[cambrai33]

honestly yeah I have dog... I like to sleep with him, and spend some time with it, but I can't say that I really do enjoy to be with him, its just something like a cuddling and nuzzling plushing which I can use in my worst moment, but anyway I am not at home so I don't have access to him... about pleasure from something... actually I can't say, few years ago I liked to play games, but lately its just that I am usually staring at monitor, and my brain is thinking about ways how to do so... I always thought that one day I will do it impulsevely in the moment when I will feel worst, like today... but last thing what I wanna is to finish in a hospital, with handcuffs on hands...

That's a relief to hear! I would be gutted to know you had tried something in haste. I have a problem with concentration, I can hardly watch a TV show or do anything else. I'm very calm and working down a time limited plan to ctb. I wish I had access to a dog but my situation means I don't unfortunately

Games is a tough one, I used to like board games with a group of friends but I've started to push everyone away prior to my leaving so that's not really an option. I'm going to try spin class in the morning, yes exercising when on a ctb timetable, makes little sense but it's something for an hour that puts my mind elsewhere.

Personally I'm so glad you will be ok tonight, I was worried for you but understand the desperation that we face at times