Discussion To die or not to die

[Thinking]

So here's the thing. I really don't want to die. I'm so scared to do it because I'm worried I'll regret it and I'm worried I'll hurt people if I ctb.

But also, I really want to die. Like super badly. Like I think about it a lot. I hate myself and (being 18 years old), I know that the world has nothing to offer me. I won't be able to get a job after college, I'm going to be (even more of) a failure. This world is just a terrible, terrible place, and I'm tired with dealing with it. I feel like if I don't ctb I'll just spend the rest of my life waiting to die, which will be utter agony and suffering.

I just don't know anymore. What are y'all's thoughts? Is anyone else feeling this similarly conflicted?

 

[SoIntoYou]

You think about what other people would think about you CTB, but do they think about what you're going through? If they really understood, they would prepare and accept your decision. But alas, not many people are that mature. You didn't ask to be born, but you get to decide what to do with your life. Don't let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise.

 

[Thinking]

You think about what other people would think about you CTB, but do they think about what you're going through? If they really understood, they would prepare and accept your decision. But alas, not many people are that mature. You didn't ask to be born, but you get to decide what to do with your life. Don't let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise.

Thank you. You're words give me courage

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I won't be able to get a job after college, I'm going to be (even more of) a failure.

Your post resonated with me. I have nothing to argue except for this statement, and not to argue it but to question -- how is this something you can know? The rest you have observed and/or experienced, but I'm curious as to how this can be a certainty to you.

 

[Thinking]

Your post resonated with me. I have nothing to argue except for this statement, and not to argue it but to question -- how is this something you can know? The rest you have observed and/or experienced, but I'm curious as to how this can be a certainty to you.

Here in the US, the economy is very bad and will not recover for a long time (I've seen estimates of up to a decade). I am going to college to train in ballet. Ballet is already quite a difficult field to get into, made worse now with so many theatres closing. On top of all this, I have lost my motivation, because I feel there is no hope for me or the world, and one needs intense drive if they wish to be a ballet dancer.