enne
blood sport
- May 13, 2026
- 53
i cant ctb. i keep trying. most effort i've had in months. within anything. i literally have nothing left in me. i'm sitting on the floor with my makeshift noose. i never left tonight. i took shit to go out, got skipped over again. my throat is so dry. i want to cry. crying won't help. this was my last chance. i'm alone in this house for once and i can't get it to work. i cant do anything else. back to sleeping? i slept all of last year. i want to scream. screaming doesn't help either. i was so excited to get out. unfortunately i called like 20+ times. i hate being told things can happen. nothing good ever happens.
might just start living off fumes again. i fucking hate where i am, i hate it all.
i wish when i was in my full depression i ctb'd then, but i was too engulfed in it. nothing works now. nothing.
i even did. my makeup a lil for tonight.
idk. i feel like a loser. i feel worse for trying.
i've only been doing my makeup on nights i knew i was gonna go.. i'm so tired of sleeping. i don't have anything else tho.
might just start living off fumes again. i fucking hate where i am, i hate it all.
i wish when i was in my full depression i ctb'd then, but i was too engulfed in it. nothing works now. nothing.
i even did. my makeup a lil for tonight.
idk. i feel like a loser. i feel worse for trying.
i've only been doing my makeup on nights i knew i was gonna go.. i'm so tired of sleeping. i don't have anything else tho.
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