Venting Tired, feeling like no one cares

[Shell]

I work at a job that I dislike a lot and at which I am getting worse everyday due to depression. My parents criticize me for everything and just want to push antidepressants on me (of which I already tried some and they didn't help) so that I can be "functional". My so-called friends don't give a shit about how I feel. I feel like the only person who really cared about me was my girlfriend who died of cancer. Things are grim and sometimes I really feel the urge to CTB but I don't really want to... I want to get better, to be able to feel joy again... it is sad, I feel like if a single person cared more, offered some kindness, etc, everything would get better, but this person never appears... do I have to learn how to feel good all by myself? I am really lost...

 

[bpdscared9]

Living is very hard while dealing with depression, I've been in the same path since I was very young and I get you so much. However, I encourage you while saying that you really got this. I wish we were all able to have a proper guide on how properly we can go through difficulties and feel better eventually as you stated. I may be a stranger in this forum but I can assure that I am very much proud of you for everything you achieved in life, even if you feel like you may not be enough due the harmful people in your life. You're trying your best, OP, I wish you nothing but a safe space and joy in your life!

 

[Nothing.]

I'm sorry for your loss. There is a lot of people in this community who care. And the fact that you did have a girlfriend and friends shows that it is possible to socialize and find new friends. You just got to keep trying either here, in person, or somewhere else online. You can find a community. It's good to love yourself but it's also human to seek friendship especially when grieving. That doesn't make you weak or dysfunctional. You are going through a lot and I admire your strength to be here today and to say that message. Don't CTB. You still have time and the ability to live, feel joy, and make new friends. You will have obstacles, but there is still hope.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to heal. Please know that even if the people in your life seemingly don't care about you. You still matter. Because you are a person like the rest of us, and everyone matters. Your worth isn't defined by others care/view of you. It's very unfortunate that life has treated you so badly. I hope you are able to find friends or anyone out there that really does care, because people that will care definitely do exist.