Thoughts on leaving a negative suicide note to someone (specifically my dad)

[p7o7p7e]

So I feel like my dad caused a good 40% or so of my depression and eventual suicide just from being narcissistic and controlling mainly and a few other things. Kind of telling me i'm worthless and just being emotionally abusive and etc. I'm writing up my suicide notes at this point and I know eventually I will have to write one to my dad, is it a bad idea if I leave one with a negative message? I've always wanted to just say a big "fuck you" to him to teach him a lesson in a way but at the same time he did raise me (with my mother) and gave me a home and food and provided me with a lot of things in life so i'm really not sure if this is a regret-able move or not, anyway thoughts on doing this?

 

[Nanimoaru]

Say what's on your heart
Giving you a home and providing for you were things he was supposed to do
He was your father
Doesn't mean get to abuse you too

 

[Subhuman]

I've always wanted to just say a big "fuck you" to him to teach him a lesson

My father is a proper narcissist and he raised me to believe I was worthless as well. He also delighted in psychologically and emotionally abusing me since very early in childhood well into adulthood. Like screaming at me until he provoked an anxiety attack, etc. It wasn't out of frustration, you could see in the expression on his face that he genuinely enjoyed it.

People like that are impervious to lessons. They are immune to fuck you's. Idk if your father is like that. If he is, you could leave a note, a letter or an entire novel and he'd still be convinced that he was the best father in the history of mankind. He might even use it for pity points after your death, showing it around to prove to everyone how bad he had it with an ungrateful and spiteful child like you. If he's not like that, he'll have to live the rest of his life with the most tremendous guilt a parent can ever imagine. At that point, even if he learns the lesson, what good will it do?

I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do because I think it's up to you. You should do whatever is best for you, and I don't know what that is. It's why I usually avoid threads like this. All I can do is give advice based on my experience, which is obviously bound to differ from yours. Personally I will not be leaving any negative notes to any of the people who purposely and maliciously messed up my life. But you have to do what feels right to you. You can even write him the note you want and then destroy it. I've done that several times and it really is cathartic. I feel no need to perpetuate any negativity after my passing. When I'm gone it won't matter to me. It's while I'm alive that I have to seek justice and validation and as long as it's not destructive I give myself permission to do that. But my death is something I want to be peaceful, so my final acts will be peaceful too.

 

[Darkhaven]

If he treated you so badly i don't see why not.
I can think of some people i would like to settle scores with too.

 

[AH-93]

If I were to write a note to my dad I would express how much he contributed to my problems and eventual suicide. I would want him to feel like shit that he let this happen to his own son and fill him with a long lasting regret. It's what he deserves! Ultimately it's up to you so take some time to reflect on how much he made you feel worthless and if you really want him to feel the same way.

 

[woxihuanni]

It's up to you, of course. But personally I see nothing wrong with driving a fuck you home as I leave. Just that in my case, I believe the best fuck you is complete silence. Not a single word, when they did not value my words when alive. So not leaving a note for him at all might do the job if you want it.

 

[Wayfaerer]

My pops been dead for years now but If I could bring him back to life to witness this, I would,.

 

[who doesn't matter]

Damn, you guys have been defining my dad actually, or am I late to the club ?

 

[Mr2005]

I don't see the point. My mum will think there's nothing she could have done and whilst she's wrong it will only transfer the guilt to her. Part of me wants that of course (the shit part) but the other knows she didn't do it deliberately. It will be hard enough for her so I think the least I can do is let her live in denial. Plus she has my brother to deal with

 

[who doesn't matter]

That's the negative consequence of playing an actual human, you understand, you feel and you realize and these emotions are never reciprocated. All hail the modern parenting!

 

[Dawn0071111]

My father is a proper narcissist and he raised me to believe I was worthless as well. He also delighted in psychologically and emotionally abusing me since very early in childhood well into adulthood. Like screaming at me until he provoked an anxiety attack, etc. It wasn't out of frustration, you could see in the expression on his face that he genuinely enjoyed it.

People like that are impervious to lessons. They are immune to fuck you's. Idk if your father is like that. If he is, you could leave a note, a letter or an entire novel and he'd still be convinced that he was the best father in the history of mankind. He might even use it for pity points after your death, showing it around to prove to everyone how bad he had it with an ungrateful and spiteful child like you. If he's not like that, he'll have to live the rest of his life with the most tremendous guilt a parent can ever imagine. At that point, even if he learns the lesson, what good will it do?

I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do because I think it's up to you. You should do whatever is best for you, and I don't know what that is. It's why I usually avoid threads like this. All I can do is give advice based on my experience, which is obviously bound to differ from yours. Personally I will not be leaving any negative notes to any of the people who purposely and maliciously messed up my life. But you have to do what feels right to you. You can even write him the note you want and then destroy it. I've done that several times and it really is cathartic. I feel no need to perpetuate any negativity after my passing. When I'm gone it won't matter to me. It's while I'm alive that I have to seek justice and validation and as long as it's not destructive I give myself permission to do that. But my death is something I want to be peaceful, so my final acts will be peaceful too.

Wow, you hit the nail on the head in your analysis of narcissistic parents down to the very last detail I 100% completely agree and the person who is making this post should definitely write whatever they feel they need to stay in their last letter before they exit this planning and catch the bus I support it

 

[oopswronglife]

We all go through that. When I am feeling bad and the reminder of who and how they ruined my life creeps in...I want to punish them and make them face it. When I am having a "less worse" day I think there is no point in adding pain anywhere as it won't change my life and won't accomplish anything with them. It's easier in the end to just remove such people as much as possible from your world.

 

[Astral316]

My father is a narcissist as well... he's buddy buddy with the police so he'd harass me for fun then call them and cry "assault!" when I got angry. I ended up facing charges a couple times but I did kick his ass for it... gave him an orbital fracture.

Will I cuss him out in a suicide letter? He's not worth it.

 

[p7o7p7e]

My father is a proper narcissist and he raised me to believe I was worthless as well. He also delighted in psychologically and emotionally abusing me since very early in childhood well into adulthood. Like screaming at me until he provoked an anxiety attack, etc. It wasn't out of frustration, you could see in the expression on his face that he genuinely enjoyed it.

People like that are impervious to lessons. They are immune to fuck you's. Idk if your father is like that. If he is, you could leave a note, a letter or an entire novel and he'd still be convinced that he was the best father in the history of mankind. He might even use it for pity points after your death, showing it around to prove to everyone how bad he had it with an ungrateful and spiteful child like you. If he's not like that, he'll have to live the rest of his life with the most tremendous guilt a parent can ever imagine. At that point, even if he learns the lesson, what good will it do?

I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do because I think it's up to you. You should do whatever is best for you, and I don't know what that is. It's why I usually avoid threads like this. All I can do is give advice based on my experience, which is obviously bound to differ from yours. Personally I will not be leaving any negative notes to any of the people who purposely and maliciously messed up my life. But you have to do what feels right to you. You can even write him the note you want and then destroy it. I've done that several times and it really is cathartic. I feel no need to perpetuate any negativity after my passing. When I'm gone it won't matter to me. It's while I'm alive that I have to seek justice and validation and as long as it's not destructive I give myself permission to do that. But my death is something I want to be peaceful, so my final acts will be peaceful too.

Wow thank you, it's like we had the same father lol but yeah I don't think my final note to him will be full of negative things but I might just leave a few sentences for him to understand what being a narcissistic parent does to you and hopefully by that he will change his ways because he still has my mom and sister and I don't want them to even remotely go through what I have to go through.

 

[Jake88]

I don't know if it's because I've lived such an angry life, but my suicide notes are completely devoid of anger and blame, even though there is plenty to go around. I actually lied and told both of my parents in their respective notes, that I have no anger and resentment towards either of them and that I have already forgiven them for any mistakes they might feel that they have made in raising me. Which is true... Half of the time.

I have one for everyone that matters in a notebook on my bookshelf in case I accidentally kill myself on impulse one day. Except for the two who matter most. My kids. I can't say goodbye to them. I've made them nice funny videos on my laptop though for many different occasions. Never goodbye though.

 

[sevenkarmas]

I'm conflicted on this. A part of me wants to lay blame on a specific person, but I also feel like I'm giving them the final control of my life. My final thoughts and actions were related to them. For a narcissist, this is like crack cocaine. When and if I decide to CTB, my letters will be to the people I care about and ignore the narcissist completely. I know that will be more damaging than blaming them.

 

[Ai-chan]

Your dad providing food and a home is his obligation, not something you need to feel indebted to him for.