This sounds fucked up but I wish I had no family so I could just CTB

[CemetryGates]

I feel bad for saying it because I have a good family but I'm sat here on the floor with so much anxiety and depression of having to face life over and over each day. I just want to ctb and be free of all the pain. I can't take it here anymore

 

[thelocalmoon]

I'm feeling the same way, however it's my friends instead of family. That's the hardest thing to let go of. I wish you the best of luck and relief on whatever your journey takes you.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that you feel is understandable. For many people, it can be a difficult situation to be in, wanting to ctb, yet not wanting to cause pain to others. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much, and I am also tired of everything. To me, being alive feels so pointless and I prefer the sound of non existence. I wish you the best.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Feeling the same way. I wish I could do something that'd make them hate and disown me.

 

[CemetryGates]

I'm feeling the same way, however it's my friends instead of family. That's the hardest thing to let go of. I wish you the best of luck and relief on whatever your journey takes you.

Thank you, I don't feel dead or alive anymore just between two worlds

The way that you feel is understandable. For many people, it can be a difficult situation to be in, wanting to ctb, yet not wanting to cause pain to others. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much, and I am also tired of everything. To me, being alive feels so pointless and I prefer the sound of non existence. I wish you the best.

Me too, I call it the void just blackness no pain or suffering, it's my idea of heaven

 

[savoytruffle]

Same here, i often wish i could just disappear into thin air so it could be easier on them. i love them to the sky and back but they're making this so difficult

 

[CemetryGates]

Feeling the same way. I wish I could do something that'd make them hate and disown me.

Hi, it's a horrible feeling isn't it. I've seen you on alot of threads and you seem to be really good at comforting people. Thank you

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Hi, it's a horrible feeling isn't it. I've seen you on alot of threads and you seem to be really good at comforting people. Thank you

I relate to too many people so I guess I show empathy.

Yeah, it's a horrible feeling. I feel stuck with no way out.

 

[Nolan96]

I remember when a friend of mine commit suicide, a family member of his said he was happy that he made the choice he wanted and was released from pain. I didn't exactly feel that way. I don't resent the people who've left my life through suicide but I see nothing to romanticize about what happened. It feels a little too neat and tidy to just package it up like that and move on. Someone you care about dying is always extremely painful.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I remember when a friend of mine commit suicide, a family member of his said he was happy that he made the choice he wanted and was released from pain. I didn't exactly feel that way. I don't resent the people who've left my life through suicide but I see nothing to romanticize about what happened. It feels a little too neat and tidy to just package it up like that and move on. Someone you care about dying is always extremely painful.

It's a coping mechanism for them. However, there's nothing wrong with being okay that someone is no longer suffering. You can be happy he made the decision that he thought was best, but hate that suicide had to be THE decision, if that makes sense.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

I remember when a friend of mine commit suicide, a family member of his said he was happy that he made the choice he wanted and was released from pain. I didn't exactly feel that way. I don't resent the people who've left my life through suicide but I see nothing to romanticize about what happened. It feels a little too neat and tidy to just package it up like that and move on. Someone you care about dying is always extremely painful.

Maybe your friend was closer to you. Not every family member is 'family'.

 

[Nolan96]

Maybe your friend was closer to you. Not every family member is 'family'.

They were definitely closer than I was with him. He did open up to me more about his internal demons, but that's typical for me. Most people prefer to dump that stuff on other messed-up people.

 

[Lost Magic]

to be honest even not having a family (most of my close ones are gone) it still isn't easy to end one's existence. My hope is to be gone after I finalise my will soon. However you are right. Having people you love and would miss you, greatly complicates things.

 

[down for the count]

I feel like I owe thanks to my family due to them being such a good family. But they can't change my symptoms no matter how good they are. I might have already been gone if I had a worse family.

 

[Nlis2244]

I feel the same. I will still ctb, but i sometimes want them to not exist so I'd have even less reasons to stay alive.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I feel the same way. I've been on this site for over 2 years now, and I've gone back and forth so many times between "I want to die now" and "I want to stay alive for my family". I'm tired of staying alive for other people, so I've picked a date and I'm just going to try going for it anyway.

The best I can do is write a detailed note and try to get them to understand, but they probably won't. If I succeed at it, then at least I won't be around to see their confusion and pain afterwards. If only I would've never been born, then there would be no need to worry about any of this in the first place.

 

[Sslsh]

I wish my mom died. She loves me to death. Her dying would push me past the line

 

[ViperDepression22]

Relatable

 

[CemetryGates]

I feel the same way. I've been on this site for over 2 years now, and I've gone back and forth so many times between "I want to die now" and "I want to stay alive for my family". I'm tired of staying alive for other people, so I've picked a date and I'm just going to try going for it anyway.

The best I can do is write a detailed note and try to get them to understand, but they probably won't. If I succeed at it, then at least I won't be around to see their confusion and pain afterwards. If only I would've never been born, then there would be no need to worry about any of this in the first place.

I'm sorry you feel this way too. The staying alive for others part really is horrible, I feel like I have no purpose on earth but to please others, I feel so trapped. My family are my only barrier I'd like to be gone forever