Venting this isnt living

[hiki4me]

i really cannot do this anymore everyday is just pure hell man everyday is just terrible and all i can do is get high or drunk to cope with it
i never felt more worthless and i just cant take it anymore everything is a mess
and the worst is i try and try
i try to get a fucking job it does not lead me anywhere since this entire shit is just fucked
i try to cope in more "healthy" ways but nothing does it anymore
i try to talk to my ex (which i do daily since idk man our situation is weird asff)but there seems no hope of us getting back together and having a meaningful relationship
this shit is hell
i am just rotting everyday and feel more and more disgusted with myself idk what i will honesty ,i am pretty much ready to ctb with a rope at any given moment (i got a good anchor point ,rope etc.)
but idk it just kinda feels like there is smth which makes me wanna stay sometimes

 

[alwayssearching202]

All I can say is—I relate. No matter how much I give to my family, it's never enough. I've spent over 30 years (yep, aging myself) supporting relatives who turned on me without hesitation. That kind of betrayal runs deep. I've leaned on the same coping mechanisms you mentioned just to keep going. Vodka at 8 am Why not? Anything to numb the pain.

You sound younger than me. I've been through more jobs and relationships than I can count—they come and go. If there's even the slightest flicker of interest in a career or creative path, chase it. As for relationships… they're so fleeting. My mom, who's nearly 80 and one of the quirkiest people I know, just fell in love. They're acting like teenagers. For 2.2 seconds, it gave me hope. But honestly—and I don't mean this disrespectfully—romantic relationships seem to matter less the older you get. (Coming from someone with their first love's name tattooed. And covered.)

If nothing else, I'm rooting for you to find your bus—whatever that means for you. Peace and love.

 

[hiki4me]

All I can say is—I relate. No matter how much I give to my family, it's never enough. I've spent over 30 years (yep, aging myself) supporting relatives who turned on me without hesitation. That kind of betrayal runs deep. I've leaned on the same coping mechanisms you mentioned just to keep going. Vodka at 8 am Why not? Anything to numb the pain.

You sound younger than me. I've been through more jobs and relationships than I can count—they come and go. If there's even the slightest flicker of interest in a career or creative path, chase it. As for relationships… they're so fleeting. My mom, who's nearly 80 and one of the quirkiest people I know, just fell in love. They're acting like teenagers. For 2.2 seconds, it gave me hope. But honestly—and I don't mean this disrespectfully—romantic relationships seem to matter less the older you get. (Coming from someone with their first love's name tattooed. And covered.)

If nothing else, I'm rooting for you to find your bus—whatever that means for you. Peace and love.

i am not old(not even 20) but i understand what u are saying
pepole are just so selfish and confusing its a curse to ever get attached to one and dpend your own happiness on them ,i made this mistake now twice and i feel like such a retard
it just feels useless to even try honestly work or whatever idk what i will do i just wish i could escape from this hell (like all here ig)